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Posts Tagged ‘va-jay-jay cutler’

Lightspeed Links: T-Rac is here to help get you through Thanksgiving

November 25th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 4 Comments | Filed in Lightspeed Links

Many of you do not have a slave driver of a Boss/Grandfather who makes you work the day before Thanksgiving. Many of you do. Many of you are also successful enough to not work for your Grandfather. Regardless, that’s neither here nor there.

However, if you happen to be traveling today to meet up with family, at some point we all know that there are 20 minutes of euphoria from seeing certain members of your family for the first time in awhile. If you’re spending Thanksgiving with your in-laws or are a bitter and cynical blogger who would gladly trade any of his extended family members for a Titans Super Bowl (that’s me!), this euphoria can be reduced to 17.5 seconds assuming you got enough sleep.

Of course, everybody then experiences the same realization:

I’ve got another 4-24 hours with these people, and I’m already so bored I am counting down the miliseconds until the Detroit f***ing Lions play. Why is Uncle Mike walking towards me? WHY IS HE HOLDING A PAMPHLET FOR ITT TECHNICAL INSTITUTE??!!!

At this point, I usually black out and wake up groggy, and I feel the memories flooding back of me. I begin to remember the horror of realizing that nobody brought alcohol so that they couldn’t be accused of being an alcoholic by the overly-holy, prohibition era born Paterfamilias, so I ate as much Turkey as possible to knock myself out.

Yeah, Thanksgiving is great, isn’t it?

Well, have no fear. T-Rac’s Posse is here to provide you with enough links to get you through this wonderful and fantastic holiday.

I tried to find a good list of the worst Thanksgiving foods out there, but I didn’t find a good one. So I will just make a quick little list from memory. Please, if you can think of any that YOU have in your family, ADD THEM IN THE COMMENTS!!! T-Rac’s Posse wants to compile a list from year to year of the worst Thanksgiving Foods.

Just so you know, my parents are divorced and both remarried so I have been to several different versions of Thanksgiving. Encountered some AWESOME food, but also some not so awesome food. Here we go.

Rogersworthe’s list of Bad Thanksgiving dishes:

  • Jello with random shit in it: There is always one Aunt (usually unmarried, otherwise they would’ve had a husband tell them, “This is freaking disgusting. Never make this again or I will sell your engagement ring.”) who makes this dish, says its meant as an entree and NOT a desert, and to try to make it a side dish to the meal adds bits of asparagus, sprouts, beet roots, ham, and charred oakwood to it.
    Hey, lets add asparagus to jello so we can eat it WITH dinner instead of after!!
    Hey, lets add asparagus to jello so we can eat it WITH dinner instead of after!!
  • Green beans with a weird white cream sauce: I’ve never seen this dish anywhere but my family’s Thanksgiving. I don’t know what the cream sauce is, but it is usually absurdly watery and tastes like yogurt mixed with bilge water.
  • Carrot Salad: Worst idea ever. “LETS CUT UP CARROTS THEN ADD MAYONNAISE AND RAISINS!!!” WHY!?!?! THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!
  • Stuffing: The idea of a loaf of bread grinded up then onions and peas added, followed by being shoved up the ass of a Turkey and cooked inside where the Turkey’s soul would be just creeps me out.

Now on to football stuff:

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Weekend Poll: Which Quarterback do you hate most?

October 9th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 10 Comments | Filed in Tennessee Titans

Since the Titans play Peyton Manning this Sunday, I have a Quarterback related poll for the weekend: Which Quarterback do you hate the most? I recognize it’s hard to pick just one, so you can vote for two. VOTE NOW!!

Which Quarterback do you hate most?

View Results

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Also, don’t forget about the Live Game Chat Panelist signup for the game on Sunday night. For details, click the blue sentence proceeding this one. Also, sign up for a reminder below:

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T-Rac’s Fake Mailbag: 0-4 Edition

October 5th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 7 Comments | Filed in T-Rac's Mailbag

So I have a few scattered thoughts about the Tennessee Titans and their 0-4 season and the direction of the organization. However, I could not think of a way to get all these thoughts into one post, and most were too short to make a post on their own. So, I did what any sane person would do: I email the questions to myself from fake email addresses with fake names, drink a bottle of rubbing alcohol, then I open my email and VOILA! All of a sudden I have all these emails from people asking questions about the Titans! So I make a mailbag post and answer the questions in these emails from “real” people.

Rogersworthe,

Why is Jeff Fisher sticking with Kerry Collins? And do you think he would have stuck by Vince if Vince had been 0-4? Also what is your ASL?

~Super Hot Amber

Good questions Amber! Let me throw you my genius thoughts on it. Fisher has always been loyal to his starting QB. I believe he will publicly say Collins is the starter until the second Vince Young is put in a game. It’s how Jeff Fisher has always operated. This means though that we the fans have no idea when Vince Young will be coming in, and that is rather frustrating. I personally think Vince should be in now, however Fisher will probably start Collins into the bye week.

Now to your second question, I have seen this in a lot of places. There is a lot inferred in the question, and I believe most of the inference is towards racism. I disagree with this sentiment. Fisher stuck by McNair when McNair struggled and O’Donnel filled in and played well. Many, many, many people in Nashville were calling for O’Donnel to be the starter and to declare McNair a big, fat bust and Fisher refused to and stuck by McNair. So, please take the inferred racism elsewhere.

As for my asl, I’m a 53/f/MI.

T-Rac,

What should this team do for the future if we go 4-12?

Chief Wiggums (more…)

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Media Critique Monday: NFL Week 1

September 14th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 3 Comments | Filed in Media Failures

So, by late afternoon on Mondays, I have usually seen enough to know what a few common themes the mainstream media is pounding out and throwing our way. Most are legitimate if over-covered. That’s the media now, including blogs like this one. Everything is over-covered. But a few stories being shoved down our throat are total bullshit. I will try to bring light to these stories to you, the faithful readers of the Wisdom of T-Rac and his Posse.

Kyle Orton is 1-0; Jay Cutler is 0-1: Such a common theme, I’ve seen 3 national writers bring it up, including the amazingly original Peter King. This is a bullshit way to look at it. It’s sensationalizing at its best, and sums up everything I hate about people like Chris Berman and Peter King. Josh McDaniels took an offense that a year ago was playing really well in Denver and carrying the worst defense in NFL history to an 8-8 record, which is actually quite an accomplishment, and scored 6 points that didn’t involve fluky tipped passes on the CINCINNATI BENGALS. Orton then throws a pass that in virtually any other game is intercepted, but this time leads to one of the craziest and fluky endings in a long time. On top of it, Michael Lombardi of the National Football Post summed up the failure of the Bengals best here:

“I feel so bad for the Bengals, but situational football is a huge part of the NFL. Where was the deepest man on the field? Who cares if they catch it? All they had to do was tackle anyone who touched the ball. A defense cannot get outflanked. I know this is a little like second-guessing, but it’s paramount to the situation. I wonder if the Bengals worked on that one?”

The Bengals define bad situational football, and it cost them in that fluky play. Should Josh McDaniels get credit for that? NO.

Now, Jay Cutler played horribly in the loss to the Packers, but a few points should be made about that as well: 1) The Bears receivers suck. 2) The Packers are infinitely better than the Bengals. 3) The Bears, despite Jay Cutler’s 4 interceptions, still put up more points than the Broncos, and they did not have a fluky play to do it. Jay Cutler has a lot of questions to answer for his play, but to suggest Kyle Orton played just as well or to even hint at it with this suggestive headline is laziness on the part of the media and sensationalizing bullshit. AVOID ANY WRITER THAT USES THIS AS A TOPIC FOR A COLUMN OR EVEN MENTIONS IT.

Sorry, no credit in my book for beating THE BENGALS with one of the luckiest plays in NFL history.

Sorry, no credit in my book for beating THE BENGALS with one of the luckiest plays in NFL history.

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You heard it here first

March 24th, 2009 by Spizz | No Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

When the biggest headlines are about players not being traded, and, furthermore, players’ reactions to players not being traded, you know that there frankly is not a whole lot going on in the NFL. It is in this absence of substantial newsworthy material on which to wryly comment that I humbly offer to the readers of T-Rac’s posse the next-best thing to a breaking news article—that’s right, a completely made up breaking news article.

Cutler to endorse first officially licensed NFL tampon

DENVER, CO—NFL officials announced today that Denver quarterback Jay Cutler will serve as official spokesman next season for the Tampax Aridion 5000, as the league takes on its first ever major sponsorship for a feminine hygiene product.

“In the end, it was just a perfect fit for Jay,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “He’s proven that while he may be a multi-millionaire athlete, he can still has a lot in common with the average bitchy girlfriend.”

Cutler, whose relationship with the Broncos has gone from bad to worse this offseason after the team expressed interest in “that whore Matt Cassell”, seemed to have somewhat mixed, wildly unpredictable, and constantly changing feelings about his juicy new deal.

“It’s just, I mean, what we had was something special, and then they just went and undid it,” said Cutler from a couch-side press conference between bouts of nose-blowing and long pauses for Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. “It will just never be the same, what we had. Now I know that he’ll never understand who I really am.”

Head coach Josh McDaniels said in a response that the team is still interested in continuing its relationship with Cutler and that none of this probably would have ever happened if he hadn’t gained all that extra weight.

This newest NFL endorsement is expected to be the first of many new product sponsorships for the upcoming season. The league has also reportedly considered liquor and lottery sponsors for the first time, as well as other paid endorsements in order to ease some of its economic burdens.

“We’re currently working out a deal with the Summer’s Eve company, as well,” said Goodell. “They’ve already met with several potential spokespersons such as Phillip Rivers, Bill Bellicheck, and Terrell Owens. Expect a line of premium quality, NFL-grade douches to be released by next season.”

EDIT: Fell free to Digg this if you think it’s awesome! Click the button below… please? : D


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Trading for Cutler

March 16th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | No Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

So, Titans fans are buzzing over this Cutler being a cry baby talk and potentially being traded. Everybody wants Cutler to be a Titan. So I decided to put together a list of the best offers we could get for Cutler. Any additional recommendations are welcome.

1) LenDale White for Jay Cutler – Lenwhale works out in Denver, Cutler lives in Nashville. It makes both players lives more convenient, which is really what the NFL is all about. Conveniencing the players. Also, Denver no longer has that proven “plug any player in, including a white guy who was 3rd string at Arkansas and they can be a pro bowler” system so they will need a proven commodity in Lenwhale. I mean, he is a great goalline back, and has great break away speed. Just ask Kansas City.

2) Vincent Fuller for Jay Cutler – Well, D’r'e B’l'y (I forget where the apostrophe goes so I covered all my bases) retired or something, so they need a guy to replace him, and Vincent Fuller will get burned about half as often as D’r'e B’l'y. In fact, B’l'y gave up 38 touchdowns last year, so if Fuller cuts that in half to 19, then Chris Simms throws 17 TDs for the Broncos, thats a net over Cutler and B’l'y’s combined stats (24 TDs thrown to 38 TDs given up for -14 TDs) of 12 TDs, as the Simms-B’l'y combo is good for -2. It’s a win-win!

3) The Rights to Redskins Compensatory Picks for Jay Cutler – We all know we are going to get some picks from the moronic Redskins for tampering, and what do Belichek disciples treasure most in this world? Draft picks. Who knows, maybe another “Tom Brady” is waiting in the wings in the 6th Round? OR a Matt Cassell, which is who McDaniels wanted anyway. How lucky for him this worked out.

4) Alge Crumpler for Jay Cutler – The AFC West may suck ass, but they have some awesome Tight Ends in Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates. In this Nuclear Arms Race for super-athletic top Tight Ends going on in the AFC West, Alge Crumpler fits in perfectly (he’s a workout monster!!!!) and puts Denver on the map. Competing in the Tight Ends Race brings Denver back to respectability, and a young, talented, franchise QB is a worthy price to pay.

and finally, the best trade, a complete win-win-win-win on all sides for the Titans and Broncos and players involved is:

5) Vince Young for Jay Cutler – This trade brings Dever a QB who is young and talented like Jay Cutler, but doesn’t have the emotional issues. Since arriving in Tennessee, Vince Young has been a paragon of leadership, acting like a heady veteran of 10 years since Day 1. Cutler, however, has been a mal-content and a whiner. McDaniels, a very young coach, needs a leader like Vince Young to help solidify his locker room here at his first job. Jeff Fisher, however, is more settled and can take the time to develop Cutler into a top notch human being as well as a top notch QB, just like he did with Vince Young. This trade absolutely makes the most sense out of any of the very reasonable trades presented here. Now lets go get Jay Cutler!

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