Subscribe RSS

Posts Tagged ‘Super Bowl’

Super Bowl draws a record 106.5 million viewers

February 8th, 2010 by Rogersworthe | 1 Comment | Filed in Super Bowl

That’s right. The game last night was the most watched Television event in American History, breaking the season finale of M*A*S*H, which drew 105.97 million viewers (What the fuck?).

The real question is why the hell did 105.97 million Americans watch MASH? Was life THAT BORING in the 1970s? If old people ever tell you life was better in the old days, tell them to go fuck themselves.

This show sucks. Thank you, NFL, for taking it out of the record books.

Tags: , , ,

Saints win! Why? Because I called it

February 7th, 2010 by Rogersworthe | 3 Comments | Filed in Super Bowl

That’s right. I picked the Saints. It’s on the record. And I am a genius.

Congrats to Who Dat nation, but you really should thank me. I am the Super Bowl MVP.

The guy who won the Super Bowl MVP

Congrats to Drew Brees. He definitely deserved it. I am willing to let him have the award. (more…)

Tags: , ,

Lando’s Super Bowl Punditry

February 3rd, 2010 by Lando | No Comments | Filed in Playoffs

Well here I go again.  For the last time this year.

I don’t really count last week as a football week even with the Pro Bowl.  That game has become a joke.  When Kyle Vanden  Bosch, Vince Young, and David Garrard are representatives in the AFC you know something is wrong.  These are supposed to be the best players in the league.  Come on.

But now the time has come to talk of bigger things.  It’s Super Bowl time.  And it’s time for me to pick who’s going to peak all over the place, and who’s going to drop the ball big time.  So without further adieu…

New Orleans at Indianapolis: I’m hoping for a close game.  This has potential to be one of the highest scoring games we will ever have the pleasure of viewing.  But if the Saints played like they did against Minnesota than it’s going to easily be a blowout.  6 fumbles in a game is never going to happen again.  In my mind the Saints need to play the perfect game to win.  Cause if you don’t Manning is going to bend you over.

Big Games:

  • Peyton “Zeus” Manning:  I hate him.  But I also have a grudging respect for him.  So instead I’m going to give a big shoutout to all you faggot UT fans who are fans of the Colts because of Manning.  Kiss my ass and suck my dick.  You are an embarrassment to humanity and get over the fact that Peyton went to your school over a decade ago.  How many National Championships did Peyton bring home?  Let me check.  Oh ZERO.  So take his genitals out of your mouth for two seconds and continue bitching about Lane Kiffin.
  • Drew Brees:  Minnesota was a shitty game for him.  Not going to say a fluke, but he usually bounces back after having a mediocre day.  He’ll need to be spot on for the Saints to even have a chance in this one.  I’m also going to send a petition around for Brees to bite the bullet and shave his head.  Losing your hair blows,  but it’s obvious you’re trying to cover it up.  If I didn’t like Brees I would be ripping into this.
  • Dwight Freeney:  He’s playing.  And I wonder if anyone pisses him off by calling him Dwigt.  Just a random heroin induced thought.
  • Sean Payton:  Coaching is way overrated.  But this guy is the best offensive tactician in the league.  The Saints have the ability to quick strike like none other, and they have a top ten running game to go with it.  He’s really turned this team around.
  • Mike Vanderjagt:  I think that’s how you spell his fucked up name.  Wonder where he’s delivering pizzas these days?

(more…)

Tags: , , , ,

Your 2009 Super Bowl Contenders

October 27th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | No Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

So, here we are, 7 Weeks into the season. This is about the time of year when teams begin to show their true colors. As of such, I believe we can get a good idea of who the teams are with a legitimate chance to win the Super Bowl.

The Favorites

New Orleans Saints: If I had to pick today, this would be the team I choose. They remind me of the 1999 St. Louis Rams. Their offense can go on runs like a basketball team, and they don’t even blink being down 24-3 on the road. On top of it, they have a defense who fits them perfectly. They cause turnovers and keep teams from putting together long drives.

Indianapolis Colts: Peyton Manning is a winner. Even Jeff Fisher says so. They’ve also won 15 regular season games in a row. Who can beat them in the AFC?

Tennessee Titans: Kenny Britt = awesome. Chris Johnson = awesome. Lendale White – awesome. A lot of other guys are awesome as well. Too much talent not to make a Super Bowl push.

Other Top Contenders

(more…)

Tags: , , ,

Barack Obama Addresses the Nation

May 19th, 2009 by Spizz | 4 Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

My fellow Americans,

These past months have been trying on our great nation, to say the least. We’ve together faced an economic turmoil greater than what has been seen in a very long time, and I will be the first to admit my administration has struggled to alleviate this pain. It has been a dark time. The hardships that citizens have faced have undoubtedly shaken the faith of many in not only the resilience of United States, but also the leadership skills and strength of me, the nation’s President.

But in the midst of darkness, there does come hope. As of late, I have been making an effort to learn from the common American citizen, to listen to the people of the United States, and to allow their everyday good sense to clarify the political decision-making I face each day. In the past few days one shining beacon of wisdom has shone forth: 2008 Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison.

I, like much of America, initially took offense to Harrison’s rejection of my invitation to the White House, but I have since come to realize the true power and meaning behind his decision. Harrison has revealed the annual Super Bowl championship team’s trip to Washington for the shallow and meaningless media orgy that it has truly become. The political significance of this once-essential meeting of great minds has been entirely lost in recent years. Gone are the days of Bart Starr helping Lyndon Johnson outline his amendment proposal to the Social Security Act, only to be replaced by the hollow facade of smiling faces and clicking shutters as America slips into a dark abyss. We, as a nation, has lost our way.

It is with this understanding that I, Barack Obama, do hereby resign as President of the United States of America.

Through my understanding of Harrison’s astute reasoning, I realize that I was not asked to preside over this nation because of my visionary leadership skills or diplomatic prowess. I now know that the only reason I was ever invited to the White House in the first place was because I won some meaningless election. In fact, if that other guy from Arizona had won, I’m pretty sure they would have just invited him.

Barack Obama
Former U.S. President

(Picture courtesy of badpaintingsofbarackobama.com, the greatest website ever… aside from this one.)

Tags: , , , , ,

The Titans cost Peyton $22,500

February 9th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 1 Comment | Filed in Rest of the NFL

Well our chokefest as a franchise continued on into the Pro Bowl.

Kerry Collins decided to turn the ball over twice in the 3rd Quarter, while Cortland Finnegan did nothing to hold back Larry Fitzgerald from destroying the world. It really sucks to think the last game we actually won, or better put didn’t completely shit our pants in, was against the Superbowl champs in Week 16. Since then we played Vince Young against Indy (guaranteed loss) and Lenwhale ruined my life against Baltimore, then our top players cost the rest of the AFC, including Tennessee Demi-God Peyton Manning $22,500.

Manning was quoted after the game as saying “That Irish motherfucker can’t cover Fitzgerald and they put in a geriatric redneck ahead of me and I’m out $22,500? Fuck that. I want my money.”

Actually he wasn’t. But I bet he said it. Besides, we need more traffic here and a false quote from Manning might do the trick. We’ll at least get some more hits from Knoxville by those UT losers who have a Google alert for his name.

Of course, during the Pro Bowl they interviewed Albert Haynesworth where he said he wished to remain in Tennessee, but he’ll be gone if somebody offers him a fat contract. Which they will, as I have stated before.

Jim Wyatt, the local beat writer of the Titans for the Tennessean says he believes Haynesworth is sincere when he says he wants to remain in Tennessee. Luckily for us Titans fans, Jim Wyatt is known in the media as a living lie detector and helped design human facial recognition software along with advanced polygraphs used now in Guantanamo Bay. Also for the record, Jim also believes Raphael Palmeiro and Barry Bonds did not do steroids. Unfortunately, the judge did not recognize Mr. Wyatt’s talents and so he will not be giving testimony to Bonds’ innocence in his upcoming steroid trial.

In other random news, The National Football Post published another Mock Draft, done by Wes Bunting of NFP. We, the Titans, are listed as selecting Darrius Heyward-Bey, the WR from the University of Maryland in the 1st Round and selecting Evander Hood, the DT from Missouri in the 2nd Round. If you scroll down on the article to the comments section, there is a brilliant comment left by a user named “Sam @ T-Rac’s Posse” saying he wouldn’t be surprised if the Titans actually picked Michael Johnson, the DE from Georgia Tech. I must go on the record of saying I completely agree with this talented genius and no doubt strikingly handsome man in this assessment. We just don’t pick receivers high. I think Jeff Fisher still is hurt from the horrible way it ended with Tyrone Callico, and it’s just too much pain to try to go there again. It’s the ones you leave yourself truly vulnerable to that hurt the most.

Well, take your time Jeff. These things take time. Meanwhile our offense is suffocating to death under the weight of Alge Crumpler and Lenwhale White, and sadly they don’t run fast enough to get off, but take your time. In the meantime I think we should take a kickass Defensive End and draft some dude with 4.3 speed in the 4th Round and try to turn him into Eddie Kennison, Jr.

Oh, and it’s my birthday today. My wish is for the Titans to go undefeated, destroy Tom Brady’s other knee, and win the Super Bowl as the greatest team to ever exist in any sport ever. Go Titans.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Superbowl Reactions: Steelers fans and the Media are really stupid

February 2nd, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 2 Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

The Superbowl this year had an awesome finish. I won’t explain why or what, you all saw it, and every major media outlet has covered it in detail.

As a football fan I thoroughly enjoyed the ending. A fun way to watch the last 8 minutes of meaningful football for 7 months. Just an exciting finish to an overall fun season, even with my team losing in gut wrenching fashion.

But as an impartial observer, I really despise the Superbowl media. It’s sickening.

This year’s obvious “Jerome Bettis is from Detroit” story was about Larry Fitzgerald, Sr. being a sportswriter who has to cover his son. The national media, specifically Rick Reilly and Michael Wilbon slobbered over Fitz Sr.’s ability to objectively cover his son, which Josh Levin of Slate.com was able to point out how much of a fallacy that is.

Yet, after these many points raised by people like Josh Levin, it continued on, even into the game. The story took a life of its own as they showed Fitz Sr. stoically not cheering as his son made some of the most exciting plays by a Wide Receiver in any Superbowl.

Also, let’s not forget the exploits of Media Day, as hard hitting questions were asked of players like:
“Do you enjoy skiing?”
“Does Coach Tomlin ever yell?”
“What’s your favorite ice cream?”
“Are you nervous?”

Probably the most qualified journalist there was the cross-dressing Latino man from Telemundo, who I beleive asked several players out on dates. Three said yes, but he refused to reveal names under threat of lawsuit. If I had to guess, I would say Ben Roethlisberger (something is off about that guy, I don’t care how many Superbowls he wins as a QB), Hines Ward (aren’t him and Big Ben a little too close? And why the hell is he always smiling?), and Terrel Owens, who the world knows is secretly gay, which is why he knows Jeff Garcia is gay. What he was doing at media day however, is a different issue.

One productive thing did come from the media circus. I came to an epiphany about the Steelers. As a result, the Steelers entered into the stratosphere of hatred for me with the media suck-up festival surrounding them and their falsely high-minded attitude they have about their team and organization, which is echoed by the media.

We were treated to this story of Steelers fans and players taunting us because they had made the Superbowl and we didn’t, and we deserved it for stomping on their precious terrible towel.

A quote from Larry Foote: “You see right now we got the last laugh. That’s what they get for trying to humiliate us and rub it in, for not showing any class. We wanted to play them again, but they couldn’t hold up their end of the bargain. That’s what they get for stomping on the towel. We’re stepping on them right now.”

Well, the Steelers last night showed how they are of a higher class of citizen than any player on the Titans when Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison mugged and punched a guy on a punt then flat out knocked him on his ass for no real apparent reason. This amounted into a 6 inch penalty for the Steelers, who have gotten more bullshit homer calls in their past two Superbowl appearances than the Titans have ever gotten in any game EVER. I hate the Steelers.

To suggest we didn’t make it there because we stomped on their Terrible Towel just shows the self-centeredness the Steelers and their fans enjoy.

Another quote from the article: “It’s kind of a sacred symbol of Pittsburgh,” Bates said. “So yeah, people weren’t happy with the Titans for what they did. It was a fuss. It was kind of nasty to see them stepping on it.”

I don’t know who Bates is, but f*#% you. If the symbol of your city is a Sunflower yellow towel you wave at football games, your city sucks. That’s a You Problem.

This video commentary by Rick Reilly really just put it over the top for me. Rick Reilly makes mention that one of the reasons the Steelers deserve to win is because their fans use their vacation time to go to Steelers training camp.

We need to learn to differentiate between a good fan and a retarded moron. I will delve into this deeper at some point in the future but here are a few examples:

1) Going to the Superbowl to support your team – Good fan
2) Taking vacation time to go to Training Camp – Retarded moron
3) Dressing up and wearing face paint to games – Good fan
4) Taking vacation time to go to Training Camp – Retarded moron

Get the point? Just because people are dumb enough to waste their vacation time to go see the most pointless thing for a fan to see doesn’t mean you deserve a Superbowl! If that is your idea of a vacation, chances are you live in an economically destitute city best known for an industry from the late 1800’s where which most of your fans that didn’t travel to Tampa for the game will be watching the Superbowl on TV’s in Circuit City display windows while they throw some more trash on the fire they started in an oil drum.

But hey, they won, so all’s well that ends well for Steelers fans, and they can even rise their mindedness about how great they are, how “family-oriented” their team that cut out Wisenhunt after years of loyal service and cuts guys on a regular basis after years of loyalty, how classy their players are as James Harrison beats people publicly yet gets away with it because he was an undrafted free agent, to even greater levels. It’s going to be a joy to listen to.

Kill me.

This is the first of a monthly series of blog posts labeled “My drunk and pissed off rant”. Enjoy.

Tags: , , , , ,

We’re not on the playground anymore…

January 21st, 2009 by The Raging Clam | 3 Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

The Cardinals will not win the Big Kahuna. Why? Two words: Anquan Boldin.

We all know that drama ain’t nobody’s momma in the locker room. Players without respect for their team or their coach end up being on a losing team. Can anyone say the Cowboys? They are the most talented team, but you would have to be an idiot to think their drama has no influence on their playing (not to mention their coach has about as much control over his team as my 1960s couch I’m sitting on).

If you watch the video, offensive coordinator Todd Haley, who is known to be emotional, says something to the effect of “What the F$&K? Don’t call me that! DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Doesn’t that sound like a situation you would encounter in a sandbox, not on national television? Why was a coach called any name in the middle of a victorious game? This is not just a confrontation, it’s AB thinking he’s more important that the effective package used by the offense to WIN THE GAME! That’s not being a team player. Now if AB had chilled, and been apologetic, I would understand. But this dude left his team on the field. And although he denies this playing a part in the Superbowl, remember the effect on other teams (my couch has won as many playoff games as the Cowboys have in the past ten years).

For the Titan’s fans out there, look at what we did. Pac-Man? Cut. Vince Young? Benched. Any controversy is put to rest, and therefore we succeed.

Frankly, the Cardinals need to play as a whole, understanding team or their will be no ball to the end of this Cinderella story. It’s time to grow up, be a professional, get the sand out of your butt crack and play as a team.

Also, Titan’s Fans, friends and brothers of T-Rac, we can’t ever be taken seriously as a fan base if we have no pure hatred for a team. This team has always been the Ravens. These scoundrels have kept us out of going to the big dance one too many times and yet I heard “fans” pulling for them in the Steelers game. This is egregious. There is to be no appreciation, no love, and no understanding for those worthless clowns of drug-infested Baltimore.
Tune in next post while I explain why we will be the kings of the NFL and Superbowl champs next year. It shall be glorious…stay tuned.
Also, please comment below since it allows me to pad my sensitive ego…

Tags: , , , ,

Follow Us