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Posts Tagged ‘reasons to hate Pittsburgh’

Schadenfreude: The last chance at football joy

October 22nd, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 7 Comments | Filed in T-Rac Circle of Hatred

scha⋅den⋅freu⋅de (pronounced 002bb8; background-image: none; background-repeat: initial; background-attachment: initial; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial; background-color: initial; background-position: initial initial;" title="Wikipedia:IPA for English" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:IPA_for_English">/ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/German pronunciation: is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

The Titans are 0-6 and judging by their recent 59-0 loss, not getting any better. Our beloved Coach has pissed off half the fanbase by wearing a Peyton Manning jersey in public. Our QB of the future can’t beat out a 37 year old journeyman who was drafted BEFORE Eddie George had even won the Heisman Trophy. The Titans don’t only suck. They are the laughingstock of the NFL.

So, why continue to watch football? What is the point of trooping on? Well, outside of fan support, there is one thing that can still bring joy to the heart of angry Titans fans: Shadenfruede.

Nothing can bring joy quite like your opponent completely failing. Except maybe a Super Bowl. And a winning team. Okay, forget that. Plenty of things bring greater joy than a hated team completely failing. However, THIS season, the 2009 NFL season, for a Titans fan, nothing can bring joy quite like the failure of others. There are many already existing storylines of Shadenfreude along with many potential ones as well. I will cover them all. Why? Because I’m tired of reflecting on 59-0. Time to hate everybody else.

Current Joyful Failures

Storyline of Hateful Joy #1: The collapse of the almighty Jets and pretty boy Mark Sanchez: This one is an amazing story. At the beginning of the year pretty much everyone said, “The Jets will suck.” I predicted them at 3-13. Well, they came out looking amazing. A top defense and a powerful running game along with the pretty boy savior QB not making huge mistakes led the Jets to a 3-0 record. The Jets looked like they could be division champs. Then they went down to New Orleans and Sanchez played like dogshit. Nobody blinked. It happens. The Superdome is hard to play in, blah blah blah. Well then on Monday Night Football the Miami Dolphins Wildcatted (fuck yeah it’s a verb) the shit out of the VAUNTED JETS DEFENSE and won 31-27. Ah yes. Well it happens. Miami played a great game.

But then….

5 interceptions!!!!! AGAINST THE BILLS!! HAHAHA YOU’RE RUNNING GAME GAVE YOU 300 YARDS RUSHING AND YOU STILL LOST DIRTY SANCHEZ!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL!!! 5 Interceptions in 29 attempts. That is 1 interception every 6 pass attempts. OH I LOVE IT!! SUCK ON IT YOU OVERRATED PRETTY BOY!!! How’s that “alpha male” bullshit working out now, Dilfer? Oh man, I love it. Fail you over-privileged assmunch. FAIL.

So gay...

So gay...

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Opponent Bashing Wednesday: No Love for Pittsburgh

September 9th, 2009 by Spizz | 26 Comments | Filed in Opponent Bashing

It’s time for the first regular season opponent bash post, where I write down all of the reasons I can think of that the team the Titans play this week sucks. This week we’ve got an easy one: the team that we soundly beat last year a few weeks before they almost lost the Super Bowl to an abomination of a playoff team. Ladies and gentlemen, the Shittsburgh Steelers.

  • Why the hell are the Steelers so popular? Pittsburgh isn’t even that big of a city, ranking 60th largest in the U.S. by population (just below Aurora, Colorado). A team like the Patriots I can understand, since they get like seven states, but Pittsburgh? Come on. Nashville ranks 25th but still gets no love from the media.
  • Your stadium is named after ketchup. And from what I’ve seen, the field is covered with a fresh layer of relish before every game.

Kicking a field goal on this stuff is almost as bad as eating it.

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  • Remember Big Ben’s motorcycle wreck? Steelers fans are unbelievably lucky that their shit-for-brains quarterback didn’t get his head smashed by a car windshield and have watch every remaining Steelers game at Steven Hawking’s house (side note: he could have then become the world’s first robo-voice NFL commentator, which would have been awesome) . Why the fuck would any multi-millionaire ride a motorcycle without a helmet?! To look cool and pick up chicks? You’re the starting quarterback of the reigning Super Bowl Champions! Gah! The fact that someone that stupid can be so rich and famous makes me seriously reconsider the meaning of life.
  • Plenty more hate and a Terrible Towel on fire after the jump.
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