8:59:37 PM: “Josh McDaniels is using his old playbook tonight!” ~Gruden. Yeah, I think he uses it every game actually

9:10:38 PM: THe Broncos are the 2008 Tennessee Titans. I wonder if they’ll collapse in the playoffs in the same way? And start 2010 at 0-6?

9:15:51 PM: uh oh, that’s a touchdown. Tyrone Carter just OWNED Kyle Orton

9:19:57 PM: So true RT @DJGalloESPN : You’d think Tom Brady would be the one doing an ad about sensitive skin.

9:20:28 PM: Last 3 touchdowns for the Steelers are scored by the defense. You know why? Because Ben Roethlisberger is a winner.

9:24:50 PM: THROW TO SCHEFFLER

9:24:50 PM: THROW TO SCHEFFLER

9:26:34 PM: I wonder if long, flowing hair is part of the dress code for the safety position on the Steelers roster

9:28:09 PM: over/under on MNF announcers mentioning how big Brandon Marshall is: 1,593

9:31:42 PM: GO FOR IT!!! GO FOR IT!!

9:32:29 PM: I dont know why, but I really want Denver to win this game. Oh yeah I do know why, I hate the douchecanoe Steelers fans.

9:36:34 PM: How fantasy complicates life: I want the Steelers to lose, but for Mendenhall to run for 350 yards and 6 Touchdowns

9:44:49 PM: hahahahaha RT @DJGalloESPN : I can’t wait to visit Phillip Fulmer’s IMDB page.

10:11:58 PM: Wow. That was hell of a play.

10:31:08 PM: In the middle of a fumble recovery they cut to a random hot chick. I like the new program director.

10:39:21 PM: RED ZONE INT FOR THE BRONCOS. Game just got interesting

10:41:04 PM: I bet you they mention how big Marshall is

10:43:05 PM: Terrel Davis reference by Jaws. Kinda like The Sports Guy making a Teen Wolf reference

10:53:36 PM: 24 yard punt by Mitch Berger. Can i have his job?

11:00:21 PM: I can kick it at least 26 yards RT @pnut141: @TRacsPosse U COULD PROBABLY DO BETTER

11:03:09 PM: WOw. Orton just threw that ball away. Palomalalalalaululu with the interception

11:05:41 PM: Well Steelers just took a big lead and I am bored. See you all later.

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The Titans are 0-6 and judging by their recent 59-0 loss, not getting any better. Our beloved Coach has pissed off half the fanbase by wearing a Peyton Manning jersey in public. Our QB of the future can’t beat out a 37 year old journeyman who was drafted BEFORE Eddie George had even won the Heisman Trophy. The Titans don’t only suck. They are the laughingstock of the NFL.

So, why continue to watch football? What is the point of trooping on? Well, outside of fan support, there is one thing that can still bring joy to the heart of angry Titans fans: Shadenfruede.

Nothing can bring joy quite like your opponent completely failing. Except maybe a Super Bowl. And a winning team. Okay, forget that. Plenty of things bring greater joy than a hated team completely failing. However, THIS season, the 2009 NFL season, for a Titans fan, nothing can bring joy quite like the failure of others. There are many already existing storylines of Shadenfreude along with many potential ones as well. I will cover them all. Why? Because I’m tired of reflecting on 59-0. Time to hate everybody else.

Current Joyful Failures

Storyline of Hateful Joy #1: The collapse of the almighty Jets and pretty boy Mark Sanchez: This one is an amazing story. At the beginning of the year pretty much everyone said, “The Jets will suck.” I predicted them at 3-13. Well, they came out looking amazing. A top defense and a powerful running game along with the pretty boy savior QB not making huge mistakes led the Jets to a 3-0 record. The Jets looked like they could be division champs. Then they went down to New Orleans and Sanchez played like dogshit. Nobody blinked. It happens. The Superdome is hard to play in, blah blah blah. Well then on Monday Night Football the Miami Dolphins Wildcatted (fuck yeah it’s a verb) the shit out of the VAUNTED JETS DEFENSE and won 31-27. Ah yes. Well it happens. Miami played a great game.

But then….

5 interceptions!!!!! AGAINST THE BILLS!! HAHAHA YOU’RE RUNNING GAME GAVE YOU 300 YARDS RUSHING AND YOU STILL LOST DIRTY SANCHEZ!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL!!! 5 Interceptions in 29 attempts. That is 1 interception every 6 pass attempts. OH I LOVE IT!! SUCK ON IT YOU OVERRATED PRETTY BOY!!! How’s that “alpha male” bullshit working out now, Dilfer? Oh man, I love it. Fail you over-privileged assmunch. FAIL.

So gay...

Storyline of Hateful Joy #2: The Dallas Cowboys suck: Any surprise? No. Is it still awesome? Yes. I was so happy the New York Giants beat the Cowboys in their new stadium in it’s opening game on Sunday Night Football. On top of that, Eli Manning signed his work in the stadium:

Just awesome

You have to admit… that’s badass.

Storyline of Hateful Joy #3: Albert Haynesworth is injured again? You don’t say…: It feels like every time I turn on a Redskins game, Albert Haynesworth is being taken off the field for an injury. Yeah, Redskins. THAT’S WHY THE TITANS DIDN’T RESIGN HIM!!! This signing combined with the craziness with Jim Zorn: Washington is now Oakland-East. I love it. Love it love it love it.

Potential Joyful Failures

These few early signs of Shadenfreude have been great, however they aren’t enough. I want MORE. I WANT MORE HATE! Well, never fear. There are still some potential failures ahead

Storyline of Potential Hateful Joy #1: Brett Favre tanks and the Vikings lose a key game due to 6 interceptions to miss playoffs/lose in playoffs: It’s coming. I can feel it. It’s inevitable. The Vikings look awesome. They even have luck on their side. Every announcer is masturbating to the greatness of Favre. And yet… I can feel it. He’s going to collapse. They’re going to collapse. The football gods demand it!! And when it happens, I will be crying tears of joy (not really, but I will be happy).

Storyline of Potential Hateful Joy #2: Steelers miss playoffs/lose in wild card round by losing a 14 point lead: They have the defending champion blues. They can’t close out games.  Teams are making comebacks on them left and right. It’ll catch up in a key moment. Just wait…

Storyline of Potential Hateful Joy #3: Peyton Manning, the great winner, loses once again in the 1st Round of the playoffs: Just wait. Regular as clockwork. Probably to the Chargers too.

See? Joy is still to be had in this football season. Just none of it is directly related to the Tennessee Titans.

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The Titans should be embarrassed by how sloppy they played

My stomach hurts.

This was painful to watch. I tried writing this last night, couldn’t do it, and now am back this morning. Still hurting. And here it goes. A review of last night’s game.

My Doghouse

• Penalties: Why? Why? Why? WHY DID WE GET 4 ILLEGAL FORMATION PENALTIES!?!? It seemed to happen in a couple REALLY important situations too, like on 3rd and short that we would convert, then out comes the flag. It’s sloppy and ridiculous. What exactly was the point of the preseason?
• Special Teams: Once again, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THE PRESEASON!?!?! At no point did Finnegan return punts for any meaningful amount of time if it all (I did not watch every minute of preseason so he may have played when I missed a game) in preseason and yet he was our return guy? He wasn’t good, and it feels like the Titans are just begging for him to get hurt. Why risk him if he isn’t that good? And he was BAAAD. On top of that we got destroyed in field position. I said in the PosseCast previewing the game that it only takes one bad punt from Hentrich in a bad spot to hurt us, and last year he had a lot of shanked punts. Sure enough, he shanked it in a crucial spot. Then, of course, the kicking game was really, really bad. Bad snap on the first field goal, then to give up a block on the 2nd field goal… That’s just inexcusable. INEXCUSABLE. We had a kick blocked in preseason!! Why does it then happen again 2 weeks later!!
• Chuck Cecil: I do not like to question playcalling. It’s something that I think is amateur and easy to do when a play happens to not work, when there are 20,000 other factors that go into why plays do and do not work. But after the Kearse sack and it is 3rd and 12, you can’t rush only 3. That plays right into Ben Roethlisberger’s strength and our weakness. It was such a dumb move in terms of general strategy. We got good pressure with 4. Not transcendant, but good. But on 3rd and 12, you HAVE to make sure you get pressure. You have to make Roethlisberger throw a quick pass for short yardage. We did that on 3rd and 7 earlier, we blitzed and got to him, he hit the hor route, which was a 4 yard dump to Hines Ward that we easily got to. 4th and 2, Steelers punt. Then, in Overtime, to sit in the same defense while the Steelers just march down on us… This might be second guessing a bit but, you have to change it up. You have to go for the big play. It’s overtime. One field goal and we’re done. “Bend, but don’t break,” does not work in overtime.
• Mike Heimerdinger: 23 rushes. 23. That makes no sense to me.
• Chris Hope: Blew two HUGE plays on the Touchdown drive. One will happen. But two on the same drive is inexcusable for a pro bowler.
• Clock Management: Bad. Just bad. It ended up okay due to Hines Ward’s fumble, but how do we not get it to the 2 minute warning before punting, at least?
• Nick Harper: Old and slow. Can only play zone. Bigger weakness than I expected, and I expected him to be a weakness.

A Few Good Things

• Pass Rush is still there: Without Haynesworth, we still got some really good pressure and, at times, dominated the Pittsburgh Offensive Line. However, it didn’t show up when we needed it most, and the Titans didn’t adjust to help the pass rush. That’s on the coaches.
• Run Defense is Stout as ever: Very few teams will run on us. That bodes well for the next few games.
• Receivers are better: Gage looked good overall, Kenny Britt played extremely well for a rookie. Collins looked sharp as well, for the most part.
• Tulloch has taken the next step: Tulloch is ready to contend for Pro Bowls.
• Running game will be good: Chris Johnson is still great and LenDale looks like a new man.

General Impression

Overall, we looked talented, but sloppy and not well coached. I wrote in our Live Game Chat several times that this felt like the Baltimore game to me. It played out almost exactly the same way. This game was not one to give away, and the Titans did. It was a bad spot to give it away, it was a bad time to give it away, just nothing good from that. The good points remind me that the Titans are a very good team, but the bad was really bad and potential fatal flaws for this team. The Titans have to win the field position battle, yet I don’t feel we have the tools to do so as of yet. The defense is not good in coverage. That will show in big games. Nick Harper is a big flaw. Frankly, we need to re-address some of our core strategies on defense and try to work in some wrinkles. The lack of creativity on the defensive alignments was astounding and disturbing.

Time to move forward and forget about this emotionally, but not forget the errors. The Titans cannot stand pat and chalk this up to just a bad game. A few big time flaws were revealed, ad they will need to address them in the next 10 days for 2009 to be the season of redemption.

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Come on in and chat with us while the game is going on. Screw the Steelers.

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Donald, as stated on his site, feels he crushed me. I feel differently. I think I tried to be civil and he shot back with analysis that… well… its filled with a lot of typical Pittsburghian (a Peter King word) irrationality. I’ll let you decide.

My first email:

So, Steelers Today, as you know the Titans and the Steelers open the NFL season this Thursday. I find this appropriate because I felt last year we were the two best teams in the NFL and  going into this year, I see no reason for this not to be the case again. So lets cut to the chase. This is why I think the Titans will be the victorious team on Thursday:

1) Line domination: When we won last year, it was all because our Offensive Line held serve against your insanely good defense enough for Chris Johnson to get some daylight and for Kerry Collins to get a pass in on a Polamalu misread. On defense, our line dominated your struggling Offensive Line, the closest thing the 2008 Steelers had to an Achilles Heel, and this was WITHOUT Albert Haynesworth. I really see no reason why this won’t happen again. The same units are lining up for the Titans on both sides, and I doubt your Offensive Line has improved enough to keep Big Ben upright.

2) Improved Offense: We were able to put up 31 points with our offense last year, and our offense this year is drastically improved. While I do not think we will get 31 points again, I could see us reaching 24 points with our improved weapons, and I don’t think your offense can put up that many on our defense.

3) Special Teams: The Titans almost always win the special teams battle, and I feel the Steelers always are below average on special teams themselves. In a game with two teams as close as these two are, special teams always seems to play a role. I give that edge to the Titans.

4) Terrible Towels Crush it, LenDale. Crush it.

You disagree with any of this, Steelers Today?

His response back to me and my well thought out and brilliant points though, was this:

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So take a listen and then join us Thursday Night for our Live Chat during the game.

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Strengths for the Titans

• Controlling the Line of Scrimmage: Any good Tennessee Titans team starts and ends with this. Our Offensive Line is generally acknowledged as top 3 in the league and will remain so barring a major injury. The Steelers defense is extremely impressive, but our line showed last year that they are good enough to get Chris Johnson some space and Kerry Collins enough time to make a decision. So while we obviously won’t dominate the line of scrimmage offensively, we’ll at least hold serve and possibly control it for a drive or two. The big question mark is on the Defensive Line. While we are talented and deep, there is a question of whether we can dominate as our D-Line has for the past 2 years. Pittsburgh has a weak Offensive Line and while their O-line is expected to improve, nobody expects it to be a top unit. Our D-Line MUST take advantage of this or we will be in some trouble.
• Running the Ball: We’re a better running team than Pittsburgh. This can be neutralized by how good Pittsburgh’s run defense is, but I don’t think it will be enough. If our running game can get us to 3rd and 3 or better, we have enough of a passing game to convert these with some regularity. I know we won’t get our usual yards rushing, but to expect 3 yards a carry is not ridiculous, and could be enough to keep the Steelers defense on their toes.
• Tight End: We will need to use all 3 of our Tight Ends in different ways to help out the Receiving Corps. Cook, if he is fully healthy, could be the X factor, as his speed will be unexpected coming from that position. I imagine the Tight End will be Collins’ first look on 3rd downs, and even with our O-Line you rarely get a 2nd look against this defense so our Tight Ends will need to come to play.

Weaknesses for the Titans

• Wide Receivers: I like our group this year more than last year, but they are unproven and this is heck of a test. Nate Washington is likely not going to play, which is a big problem as well. When Pittsburgh was beaten last year, it was by teams getting a semblance of a running game going on their defense, converting 3rd downs, then hitting them over the top with a big play on either a Polomalu blitz or the rare times he was out of position. The Titans did this with a 30 yard touchdown to Justin Gage and even though Polomalu was out of position he still almost made the play. The problem is that play was more of an exception than a rule with the Titans. Our receivers last year struggled to make plays and while I have more hope for this year’s crop, I don’t expect them to light it up in the first game of the season against such a good defense. Kenny Britt has looked good, but he hasn’t seen anything like this Steelers defense. Washington could have been that guy, but he most likely won’t play and to expect Britt to make plays while the attention is focused on Gage… I don’t feel confident in that.
• Cornerback: Finnegan aside, the Steelers have more good receivers than we have good cornerbacks. Limas Sweed is good, in my opinion. He is also big and big receivers are a problem for the Titans. Last year in the Steelers game it didn’t matter because our D-line was getting to Roethlisberie9rgkwkewfer (I think that’s right) before he could get off a decent pass. That is why our D-Line will need to be in top shape. Finnegan will take Ward or Holmes out of the play most of the time, but that still leaves Ward/Holmes (whoever Finnegan doesn’t get) and Limas Sweed against Nick Harper (who I am NOT high on) and whoever has won the nickleback position, which we aren’t even aware of yet. If Pittsburgh goes to Shotgun and spreads us out, they could move the ball on us.

Question Marks for the Titans

• Return Game: I am not ready to call this a weakness because I just don’t know yet. I assume our return man is Javon Ringer, but I haven’t seen it confirmed that Ringer is our return guy. Whoever it is, while we have not seen any evidence of a top return game this year, one just never knows until the game starts.
• Kicking: Craig Hentrich is old and doesn’t have the leg he used to, although the touch is still there. However, just one short punt could really hurt us in this game. Also, while Rob Bironas is great, Heinz Field is so shoddy it negates most kickers’ range. It’s ridiculous, but it is what it is, and our Kicking game can’t be put into the strength section for this game.

Expectations for the Game

• I expect this game to be low scoring. I see the Titans dominating the line of scrimmage on defense and the Pittsburgh offense struggle to deal with a lot of 3 and 8’s.
• On offense, we will not be able to get the running game going early and without Washington our receivers aren’t enough of a threat for the Titans to manage more than a 1st down or two before having to punt.
• The Titans’ special teams will not be spectacular, but they will hold serve and not hurt the Titans either.
• Chris Johnson will have one shot to make a big play. It could decide the game whether he makes the guy miss or not.
• In the Obvious corner, I see turnovers having a huge impact on the game, and turnovers between two well coached teams are too random to predict.
• How Rob Bironas kicks and what his range is on such a cruddy field will be very important for the Titans.
• I could see the Steelers getting a big play or two in the passing game. Hopefully, Chuck Cecil will be preaching this all week.

Best Case Scenario

Our Defensive Line dominates as well as last year and the Steelers’ offense can’t sustain anything againt our defense and they never have the time to take advantage of their advantage at Wide Receiver. Turns out that the Steelers doing nothing to their defense in the offseason has led to stagnation and our O-Line blows them off the ball early and often while Smash and Dash collectively average 8 yards a carry. Kerry Collins hits Jared Cook on one play and Polamalu gambles for the big hit on Cook but misses because he misjudges Cook’s prodigious speed and Cook takes it to the house. Kenny Britt turns out to be the next Jerry Rice and torches the coverage several times while Kerry Collins has 7 seconds to throw. James Harrison cries when LenDale jukes him and shows that losing tequila weight has made him a top 10 Runningback. Titans win 56-0. After the game LenDale White and Keith Bulluck collect every Terrible Towel in the stadium and use it as toilet paper the rest of the year. Steelers enter season-long shock and finish 3-13.

Worst Case Scenario

Kerry Collins is injured on the first play and I see a High Definition up close camera view of Vince Young having to take out his iPod earphones because the coach is yelling at him to get in the game. Chris Johnson is then injured on the next play. I commit Seppuku, the form of Japanese ritual suicide in which one disembowels himself.

Official Prediction

This Titans team is on a mission to erase the bad taste from last year. That matters, especially in the 1st game of the season. I see us starting out the year showing everybody on national TV that the Titans are still a Super Bowl contender by beating the Steelers 17-14 in a tough defensive struggle that is won by the Titans O-Line being able to hold off the Steelers defense just enough to get Chris Johnson free for one big play. GO TITANS.

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This is the first installment in our Divisional Preview PosseCasts. Hopefully we will have a guest for every division. We’ll see how it actually plays out.

Take a listen, I bet you’ll like it.

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Because we are only 100 days from playing the Steelers. 100 days. Sweet mercy that sounds good.

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My fellow Americans,

These past months have been trying on our great nation, to say the least. We’ve together faced an economic turmoil greater than what has been seen in a very long time, and I will be the first to admit my administration has struggled to alleviate this pain. It has been a dark time. The hardships that citizens have faced have undoubtedly shaken the faith of many in not only the resilience of United States, but also the leadership skills and strength of me, the nation’s President.

But in the midst of darkness, there does come hope. As of late, I have been making an effort to learn from the common American citizen, to listen to the people of the United States, and to allow their everyday good sense to clarify the political decision-making I face each day. In the past few days one shining beacon of wisdom has shone forth: 2008 Defensive Player of the Year James Harrison.

I, like much of America, initially took offense to Harrison’s rejection of my invitation to the White House, but I have since come to realize the true power and meaning behind his decision. Harrison has revealed the annual Super Bowl championship team’s trip to Washington for the shallow and meaningless media orgy that it has truly become. The political significance of this once-essential meeting of great minds has been entirely lost in recent years. Gone are the days of Bart Starr helping Lyndon Johnson outline his amendment proposal to the Social Security Act, only to be replaced by the hollow facade of smiling faces and clicking shutters as America slips into a dark abyss. We, as a nation, has lost our way.

It is with this understanding that I, Barack Obama, do hereby resign as President of the United States of America.

Through my understanding of Harrison’s astute reasoning, I realize that I was not asked to preside over this nation because of my visionary leadership skills or diplomatic prowess. I now know that the only reason I was ever invited to the White House in the first place was because I won some meaningless election. In fact, if that other guy from Arizona had won, I’m pretty sure they would have just invited him.

Barack Obama
Former U.S. President

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