Man…. what a week.
The only thought running through my head three quarters into the Green Bay-Chicago game this past Sunday was “someone shoot me in the groin… please.” Titans lose by 3, favorite college team loses by 3, and my fantasy team was only up by 3 and my studs were sucking it up. Then came the Aaron Rodgers touchdown to Greg Jennings and I was hooting and hollering like a lunatic. I wound up winning this week, but at a huge cost. This weekend aged me terribly, and I now suffer from self-inflicted male pattern baldness. But that is why I love football, and that is why I love fantasy.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. It is impossible to predict who will have a good week and who will not(unless you are ruggedly good looking and part human part horse.) But that is what my purpose in life is. To supply you with names of players who will do well, and who won’t. And last week I did… about average. Some guys went off, some guys didn’t. But you should trust a winner. And I am indeed a winner. And you WILL follow my advice, because that is the way of the world.
Hotties:
- Peyton Manning: This is only a crush still. Nothing like AP and Drew Brees last week. But he is looking at a Miami secondary that allowed Matt Ryan to floss their faces. Plus there’s something adorable about his mongoloid look.
- Aaron Rodgers: Might be a tad biased, but I am liking this guy more and more. Once he shaved the molestache off he put up solid numbers against a surprisingly good Chicago defense. He’s also going up against the Orange Asian Tigers, who’s defense has more holes in it than Shia Labeouf’s hit movie.
- Adrian Peterson: Once again, this is looking like another bromantic week for Killer Croc(my nickname for him after I saw that weird Nike commercial 24 times.) He’s facing off against a TERRIBLE Detroit team. Drew Brees threw for 6 TDs last week, funny part being three of those he threw left handed. That’s how bad this team really is.
- Clinton Portis: Looking good heading into this week against St. Louis. If he doesn’t score 15 points then we’ll know how terrible the Redskins really are.
- Reggie Wayne: Must be nice being the only target Peyton has to go to. Guy put up great numbers last week, and same as Peyt he’s playing against Miami. Only two words to describe this attractive performance: man-handling.
- Andre Johnson: He’s already sent the invites out for a post game 200 yard game celebration. I hate to say it, but the Titans don’t have anyone who can cover him. Finnegan is too short, and we all know Nick Harper is going to stay in a cover 2 zone in the flats. Damn he looks good.
The face that launched a thousand ships
Tags: Aaron Rodgers, Adrian Peterson, Killer Croc, NFL Week 2, Orange Asian Tigers, Peyton Manning
