Many of you do not have a slave driver of a Boss/Grandfather who makes you work the day before Thanksgiving. Many of you do. Many of you are also successful enough to not work for your Grandfather. Regardless, that’s neither here nor there.
However, if you happen to be traveling today to meet up with family, at some point we all know that there are 20 minutes of euphoria from seeing certain members of your family for the first time in awhile. If you’re spending Thanksgiving with your in-laws or are a bitter and cynical blogger who would gladly trade any of his extended family members for a Titans Super Bowl (that’s me!), this euphoria can be reduced to 17.5 seconds assuming you got enough sleep.
Of course, everybody then experiences the same realization:
I’ve got another 4-24 hours with these people, and I’m already so bored I am counting down the miliseconds until the Detroit f***ing Lions play. Why is Uncle Mike walking towards me? WHY IS HE HOLDING A PAMPHLET FOR ITT TECHNICAL INSTITUTE??!!!
At this point, I usually black out and wake up groggy, and I feel the memories flooding back of me. I begin to remember the horror of realizing that nobody brought alcohol so that they couldn’t be accused of being an alcoholic by the overly-holy, prohibition era born Paterfamilias, so I ate as much Turkey as possible to knock myself out.
Yeah, Thanksgiving is great, isn’t it?
Well, have no fear. T-Rac’s Posse is here to provide you with enough links to get you through this wonderful and fantastic holiday.
I tried to find a good list of the worst Thanksgiving foods out there, but I didn’t find a good one. So I will just make a quick little list from memory. Please, if you can think of any that YOU have in your family, ADD THEM IN THE COMMENTS!!! T-Rac’s Posse wants to compile a list from year to year of the worst Thanksgiving Foods.
Just so you know, my parents are divorced and both remarried so I have been to several different versions of Thanksgiving. Encountered some AWESOME food, but also some not so awesome food. Here we go.
Rogersworthe’s list of Bad Thanksgiving dishes:
- Jello with random shit in it: There is always one Aunt (usually unmarried, otherwise they would’ve had a husband tell them, “This is freaking disgusting. Never make this again or I will sell your engagement ring.”) who makes this dish, says its meant as an entree and NOT a desert, and to try to make it a side dish to the meal adds bits of asparagus, sprouts, beet roots, ham, and charred oakwood to it.
- Hey, lets add asparagus to jello so we can eat it WITH dinner instead of after!!
- Green beans with a weird white cream sauce: I’ve never seen this dish anywhere but my family’s Thanksgiving. I don’t know what the cream sauce is, but it is usually absurdly watery and tastes like yogurt mixed with bilge water.
- Carrot Salad: Worst idea ever. “LETS CUT UP CARROTS THEN ADD MAYONNAISE AND RAISINS!!!” WHY!?!?! THAT’S DISGUSTING!!!
- Stuffing: The idea of a loaf of bread grinded up then onions and peas added, followed by being shoved up the ass of a Turkey and cooked inside where the Turkey’s soul would be just creeps me out.
Now on to football stuff:
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Tags: Annoying extended family members, Family I hate seeing on Thanksgiving, Gregg Easterbrook, Lightspeed Links, Passing is better than running, Passing wins games, T-Rac's List of Horrific Thanksgiving dishes, T-Rac's Mega Thanksgiving Post, Tuesday Morning Quarterback, va-jay-jay cutler, Waiting for the Detroit Lions to play, Weird unmarried Aunt
