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Posts Tagged ‘Fuck Brett Favre’

I Remember Exactly Where I Was…

January 25th, 2010 by Spizz | 2 Comments | Filed in Phun With Photoshop, Playoffs, Random Thoughts

…when Brett Favre ended his career with a game-losing interception way back in naught-ten.

It was a classic battle between good and evil, as the kind-hearted Saints of the impoverished and hurricane ravaged town of New Orleans made war with the remorseless Nordic souls of Minnesota, who called themselves Vikings. Of these wretched and foul pillagers, one stood out as a dark power among lesser villains. He called himself Brett Favre.

This man had a powerfully rank aura that followed his shriveled, elderly flesh as he traveled from town to town, leaving nothing but ashes, despair, and crushed Super Bowl aspirations in his wake. But while most were repelled by his disregard for human spirit and violation of the souls of many men, others, such as Peter the Fat, turned a blind eye to his path of destruction so that they might bask in his odorous waves of putridity.

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Lando’s Playoff Punditry

January 20th, 2010 by Lando | 2 Comments | Filed in Playoffs

The headache is creeping up.

To even think that Brett Favre and Mark Sanchez are one game away from playing each other in the Super Bowl…. Gah it makes me shudder.  I would refuse to watch this game sober.  Both are so not deserving of even playing in the Super Bowl.  I would rather see both of them wrestling naked than watch them play in the superest of bowls.  Shoot me now.

On a random note I think Kurt Warner is feeling a bit like Brendan(Brenden? What’s the official spelling on this?  It’s like the name Brittany.  Just come up with one spelling.  We’re white.  Come on.) Fraser in the box office smash hit Bedazzled.  For those of you who don’t know the movie Fraser sells his soul to the devil for five wishes, but each wish he makes becomes a hell in some way, shape, or form.  Something always goes horribly wrong.  And this is exactly what’s happened to Warner.  And I’m loving it.  First good ole Kurt sells his soul to regain his lost powers.  He takes the Cardinals to the Super Bowl and almost wins.  Almost.  Than this year he starts coming down to earth again, and gets blindsided trying to chase down an interception.  Knocked out of the game.  Fucking classic.  I love it.  Who called here on T-Rac’s Posse?  That’s right. Me, baby. Me.

Alright let’s review these games.

AFC

New York at Indianapolis:  How in the hell did the Jets make it this far?  Oh, San Diego remembered why Norv Turner blows and the Bengals just aren’t that good.  Gah I wish the Titans last year had been so lucky.  Well I’m going to come right out and say that the Colts are going to stick it in and break it off.  Airaser I’m with you on this one buddy.  Please kill Mark Sanchez.

Big Games:

  • Peyton Manning:  The man is a god.  There is nothing he can do wrong.  This is his year blah blah blah.  I get really sick of hearing it, but I can’t deny the truth.  The guy is a straight up G.  And I’m really cheering for you this week man.  Send the Jets packing and I will sacrifice to you.
  • Reggie Wayne:  I’m convinced he can catch anything.  I think the trainer’s apply some kind of adhesive to his gloves because that guy pulls EVERYTHING down.  If the Island shuts him down then some other Colts receiver is going to be wide open.  Probably the Mormon.
  • Gary Brackett:  If I was playing a backyard football game with all the NFL players to choose from this is how it would go.  #1 Chris Johns0n, #2 Randy Moss, #3 the great Gary Brackett.

Bad Uns:

  • Mark “Gay” Sanchez:  FUCK.  YOU.
  • The Jets:  Please.  The Titans don’t make the playoffs but you do.  And what’s worse is that people are actually giving you guys credit like you did something.  The last two teams you played in the regular season rolled over and died.  Just remember that, douches from New York.  You drafted Vernon Gholston.  Come on.

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DIE WARNER HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Posse Preview: Divisional Round of the Playoffs

January 15th, 2010 by Rogersworthe | No Comments | Filed in Posse Preview

Man, I hope this weeks slate of games turns out better than last weeks. Last week was pretty, pretty, pretty rough. What’s funny is the spreads from this week are much bigger than last week. That probably means the games will be closer then. So, lets preview:

Arizona at New Orleans -7: This game seems like it would be high scoring. I don’t picture another 51-45, but it could end up 38-31 or something. This is also one of those rare games where either team could blow the other one out and I wouldn’t be surprised. However… I think New Orleans has a better defense than Arizona and New Orleans will take an early lead and use that running game of theirs to really put the game on ice. I see New Orleans winning and covering by a score of 38-24.

He might quite a deal with the devil

Baltimore at Indianapolis -6.5: This is where it will pay off for the Colts not winning their last two games and being 16-0 right now, because I could easily see them being bounced by Baltimore in this spot.
/Checks Joe Flacco’s stats from preview week

Just kidding! He he he. Colts win while Joe Flacco murders any chance his team has at this game: 27-17.

Was this taken in front of your parents house, Flacco?

Dallas as Minnesota -3: (more…)

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Lando’s Playoff Punditry: Part Deux

January 13th, 2010 by Lando | No Comments | Filed in Playoffs

So the Wild Card games are over.  And I couldn’t be happier.

3 out of the 4 games played were blowouts, and only one of those was enjoyable.  Rogersworthe and I had a one night stand with the Ravens on Sunday, and reveled in the Patriots’ demise.  Other than that we were bored out of our minds watching the other two “games”, and the only consolation we got was from Green Bay and Arizona.

But now all of that is over with, and we’re heading into round 2 of the playoffs(or as I like to call them the semi-semi finals.)  And it’s time for me to do what I was put on this world to do.  Look at pictures of beautiful women whilst eating Chinese food, and making bold predictions on player’s performances.  Let’s get started.

Another hook. Taylor Hanson, my dream girl

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AFC:

Baltimore at Indianapolis: This is going to be a good game.  Baltimore is going to need Joe Flacco to pull his head out of his ass and throw for more than 34 yards.  The Colts have a good, fast defense that will neutralize the running game, so the Ravens have a shot at losing.  And Peyton Manning makes every defense look like the Titans’.  My pick is the Colts.

Big Games:

  • Peyton Manning:  Need I say more?
  • Colts’ Receivers:  They’ve been doing it all year.  Someone always gets open and Peyton always finds them.  So expect big numbers from someone, it’s just hard to predict who.
  • Ray Rice:  Probably a top five running back in the league in terms of versatility.  That opening touchdown run he had against the Pats was immaculate.  The League’s new Brian Westbrook.

Bad Uns:

  • Joe Flacco:  I called this one out last week, and he didn’t fail to disappoint.  Even if this fag gets over his injury he’s still gonna blow donkey dong.  Ravens fans don’t get your hopes up.  This is the guy who’s going to lose it for you.
  • Ray Lewis:  I’ve said before and I’ll say it again.  Most overrated player in the league.  And I think it’s funny that he goes from being this big hardass to saying that everything is about God.  Maybe you’re just too old to play well anymore dick.
  • Brian Billick:  What does he do now besides allow himself to be used in shitty beer commercials?  Even Tony Dungy doesn’t stoop to that level.

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How does Vince Young not win Comeback Player of the Year??

January 6th, 2010 by Rogersworthe | 1 Comment | Filed in Tennessee Titans

You know who won? Tom Brady. Tom fucking Brady. HOW IS HE A COMEBACK STORY!?!?! ALL HE DID WAS GET BETTER FROM AN INJURY!!!!!

Also, Brett Favre received more votes than Vince Young. The mainstream media wonders why people prefer blogs and their newspapers are dying, then they vote for Brett Favre in every award he is nominated in. It’s fucking ridiculous.

Fuck the Media.

Vince, you got screwed.

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Brett Favre has nevernude syndrome

November 17th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | No Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

Nothing to say about this. Just laugh.

Wrangler Really Tiny Jean Shorts – watch more funny videos

It’s as if Tobias Funke decided to direct a Wrangler commercial.

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PosseCast: NFL Lines Week 9

November 4th, 2009 by Rogersworthe | No Comments | Filed in PosseCasts

In a special hour-long edition I am joined by Lando, The Meena, and my 13 year old brother Theodore to pick the Week 9 games against the spread. We start it off with Lando blasting the Browns and saying they deserve to be disbanded followed by a very weak defense from The Meena. Then, after reviewing Week 8 which led to my AMAZING Norv Turner impression (Lando even recommended I patent it), we all three move on to picking the Week 9 games against the spread.

After we pick all the games, The Meena lays out his complaints against Madden 10 and I come back at him and defend Madden 10 for being the best Madden game to date.

I then finish off the podcast by interviewing my 13 year old brother Theodore and let him pick NFL games against the spread. Keep in mind, he knows absolutely nothing about football. If you want proof, listen to his response when I ask him, “Do you know who Peyton Manning is?”

So, sit back and enjoy this intense, orgiastic, 3 way sandwich of a podcast.

  • Rogersworthe – Week 8 Record: 5-8 Season Record: 67-48-1
  • The Meena – Week 8 Record: 3-10 Season Record: 55-60-1
  • Guest Picker - Week 8 Record: 6-7 Season Record: 6-7

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Click here to download the .mp3

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Schadenfreude: The last chance at football joy

October 22nd, 2009 by Rogersworthe | 7 Comments | Filed in T-Rac Circle of Hatred

scha⋅den⋅freu⋅de (pronounced /ˈʃɑːdənfrɔɪdə/, German pronunciation: is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others.

The Titans are 0-6 and judging by their recent 59-0 loss, not getting any better. Our beloved Coach has pissed off half the fanbase by wearing a Peyton Manning jersey in public. Our QB of the future can’t beat out a 37 year old journeyman who was drafted BEFORE Eddie George had even won the Heisman Trophy. The Titans don’t only suck. They are the laughingstock of the NFL.

So, why continue to watch football? What is the point of trooping on? Well, outside of fan support, there is one thing that can still bring joy to the heart of angry Titans fans: Shadenfruede.

Nothing can bring joy quite like your opponent completely failing. Except maybe a Super Bowl. And a winning team. Okay, forget that. Plenty of things bring greater joy than a hated team completely failing. However, THIS season, the 2009 NFL season, for a Titans fan, nothing can bring joy quite like the failure of others. There are many already existing storylines of Shadenfreude along with many potential ones as well. I will cover them all. Why? Because I’m tired of reflecting on 59-0. Time to hate everybody else.

Current Joyful Failures

Storyline of Hateful Joy #1: The collapse of the almighty Jets and pretty boy Mark Sanchez: This one is an amazing story. At the beginning of the year pretty much everyone said, “The Jets will suck.” I predicted them at 3-13. Well, they came out looking amazing. A top defense and a powerful running game along with the pretty boy savior QB not making huge mistakes led the Jets to a 3-0 record. The Jets looked like they could be division champs. Then they went down to New Orleans and Sanchez played like dogshit. Nobody blinked. It happens. The Superdome is hard to play in, blah blah blah. Well then on Monday Night Football the Miami Dolphins Wildcatted (fuck yeah it’s a verb) the shit out of the VAUNTED JETS DEFENSE and won 31-27. Ah yes. Well it happens. Miami played a great game.

But then….

5 interceptions!!!!! AGAINST THE BILLS!! HAHAHA YOU’RE RUNNING GAME GAVE YOU 300 YARDS RUSHING AND YOU STILL LOST DIRTY SANCHEZ!!! HOW DOES IT FEEL!!! 5 Interceptions in 29 attempts. That is 1 interception every 6 pass attempts. OH I LOVE IT!! SUCK ON IT YOU OVERRATED PRETTY BOY!!! How’s that “alpha male” bullshit working out now, Dilfer? Oh man, I love it. Fail you over-privileged assmunch. FAIL.

So gay...

So gay...

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