So here we are….
It’s nearly the end of the year. And the reality of it is starting to set in. Football is almost over. My stomach drops every time I think about this. Football is almost over. It’s like when you’re in a relationship and you just have this feeling that it’s going to end. That’s why I always take the initiative and dump every chick after the first three dates. Guess that explains why I’m desperately alone. And have developed an eating disorder. Anyways…
On to all things fantasy. The greatest league in the world has entered the first round of playoffs. I’ll let the beautiful readers guess who I’m facing off against this week. You guessed right. The one and only Rogersworthe. It’ll be a battle for the ages, a fight that will be truly as epic as the fight against Troy. But we still have a lot of great match ups this week in fantasy, and I am looking forward to telling you ALL about them. Lets do this.
Hotties:
- Adrian Peterson: He’s back. I think he hit a slump once he figured out he was the 2nd best back in the league. But Carolina’s run D has been atrocious this year. And the Favre collapse was predicted by the Mayans to happen halfway through December 2009. So All Day is going to have some fun this week.
- Jamaal Charles: How well do you think he would’ve done if he had started at the beginning of the year? He is doing a bang up job for a terrible, terrible team. He is living proof as to why Todd Haley is a bad head coach. Keep it up man. Keep it up.
- Ricky Williams: I’m genuinely nervous. The reason why we were able to stop Steven Jackson is because his team blows black dick. They killed themselves with penalties, and had a rookie starting at QB. The Dolphins are infinitely better than the Rams. We have a lot in common with these South Florida fags, but I think their D is a shade better. Going to be a good game.
- Aaron Rodgers: I’m going to go out on a limb and say this right here. The Steelers are nothing without Troy. Madden Curse strikes again. And the Packers are one of the hottest teams in football right now. It wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up making a deep playoff run. I would let Aaron punch me in the face and pour honey all over my naked body for the year he’s given me in fantasy btw.
- Kurt Warner: What an implosion. The Cardinals had a chance to seal the deal, but instead they turn the ball over seven times. And Kurt was responsible for three. I would love to say that the old Warner is back, but they play the Lions this weekend. You lucked out this time assclown. Just remember there is always next week for me to tear your ass apart in the back alley behind Hooters.
- Vince Young: I think Bonnie Tyler really sang the song Bright Eyes about you Vince. We really need you now tonight. We fucking need you more than ever. Because our offense is stagnant without you at the helm. Come back to us.
- Andre Johnson: Did anyone watch the Texans-Seahawks game? Because Andre took a shit all over the damn field. And guess who he plays this week. The Rams. Nuff said.
- DeSean Jackson: I was cruising through the ole Thesaurus and the word “explosive” had Jackson’s name right under it. Hand to God.
- Marques Colston: Has anyone seen the video of Terrance Newman riding a roller coaster for the first time? Based on his girl-like screams alone, it proves he doesn’t have shit on Colston. And I love watching Wade Phillips suffer.
/ breathes into bag rapidly
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Tags: Adrian Peterson, beautiful beefcakes, fantasy football playoffs, i'm in love with jessica biel, lando is the shit
