As a fan of the NFL, these past few weeks have made me so bored I wanted to pry my fingernails off with a bottle opener. I’m so desperate for something to happen that Terell Owens’s show actually held my attention. No fanbase should have to suffer this agony, so here are a few ideas I came up with that would spice up the offseason and stave off self-mutilation.
1. Mascot Death Match
Just imagine–a no-holds-barred professional mascot fighting league. It would be like cockfighting, but with a bunch of different types of animals, all of which are highly anthropomorphic. Ridiculous as this sounds, have you seen the WWE? It’s really not that far of a stretch.
Three rounds. No rules. No mercy.
2. More, better reality T.V. shows
The T.O. Show is a step in the right direction. I’m hoping that in a couple of years time, the NFL Network will have gone the direction of VH1, completely abandoning its original purpose to show reality shows about people on the fringe of being celebrities. “The Smash-n-Dashelorette”. “Survivor: O.J. Edition”. “Matty Ice Road Truckers”. “I Love (Shooting My Leg In) New York”. “Cock of Love (starring Travis Henry)”. The possibilities are endless.
Three more ideas and pictures of Jeff Garcia’s wife after the jump.
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Tags: Cheerleaders, Madden 2010, nfl offseason, reality tv, T-Rac, the t.o. show, world series
