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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 15

December 16th, 2009 by Lando | 5 Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

So here we are….

It’s nearly the end of the year.  And the reality of it is starting to set in.  Football is almost over.  My stomach drops every time I think about this.  Football is almost over.  It’s like when you’re in a relationship and you just have this feeling that it’s going to end.  That’s why I always take the initiative and dump every chick after the first three dates.  Guess that explains why I’m desperately alone.  And have developed an eating disorder.  Anyways…

On to all things fantasy.  The greatest league in the world has entered the first round of playoffs.  I’ll let the beautiful readers guess who I’m facing off against this week.  You guessed right.  The one and only Rogersworthe.  It’ll be a battle for the ages, a fight that will be truly as epic as the fight against Troy.  But we still have a lot of great match ups this week in fantasy, and I am looking forward to telling you ALL about them.  Lets do this.

Hotties:

  • Adrian Peterson:  He’s back.  I think he hit a slump once he figured out he was the 2nd best back in the league.  But Carolina’s run D has been atrocious this year.  And the Favre collapse was predicted by the Mayans to happen halfway through December 2009.  So All Day is going to have some fun this week.
  • Jamaal Charles:  How well do you think he would’ve done if he had started at the beginning of the year?  He is doing a bang up job for a terrible, terrible team.  He is living proof as to why Todd Haley is a bad head coach.  Keep it up man.  Keep it up.
  • Ricky Williams:  I’m genuinely nervous.  The reason why we were able to stop Steven Jackson is because his team blows black dick.  They killed themselves with penalties, and had a rookie starting at QB.  The Dolphins are infinitely better than the Rams.  We have a lot in common with these South Florida fags, but I think their D is a shade better.  Going to be a good game.
  • Aaron Rodgers:  I’m going to go out on a limb and say this right here.  The Steelers are nothing without Troy.  Madden Curse strikes again.  And the Packers are one of the hottest teams in football right now.  It wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up making a deep playoff run.  I would let Aaron punch me in the face and pour honey all over my naked body for the year he’s given me in fantasy btw.
  • Kurt Warner:  What an implosion.  The Cardinals had a chance to seal the deal, but instead they turn the ball over seven times.  And Kurt was responsible for three.  I would love to say that the old Warner is back, but they play the Lions this weekend.  You lucked out this time assclown.  Just remember there is always next week for me to tear your ass apart in the back alley behind Hooters.
  • Vince Young:  I think Bonnie Tyler really sang the song Bright Eyes about you Vince.  We really need you now tonight.  We fucking need you more than ever.  Because our offense is stagnant without you at the helm.  Come back to us.
  • Andre Johnson:  Did anyone watch the Texans-Seahawks game?  Because Andre took a shit all over the damn field.  And guess who he plays this week.  The Rams.  Nuff said.
  • DeSean Jackson:  I was cruising through the ole Thesaurus and the word “explosive” had Jackson’s name right under it.  Hand to God.
  • Marques Colston:  Has anyone seen the video of Terrance Newman riding a roller coaster for the first time?  Based on his girl-like screams alone, it proves he doesn’t have shit on Colston.  And I love watching Wade Phillips suffer.
/ breathes into bag rapidly

/ breathes into bag rapidly

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 14

December 9th, 2009 by Lando | No Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

This is what it sounds like when the doves cry…

The magic is almost gone.  The Titans losing to the Colts on Sunday socked us all back into reality.  There was no way we were going to win 10 games in a row, there was no way we were going to magically get into the playoffs.  If you are anything like me you were ripping your eyes out of their sockets when you saw Nate Washington drop that pass that would’ve changed the game.  Why??  How could you drop that?  You’re WIDE open, and an NFL receiver to boot, and you drop a pass that hits you directly in the hands.  I had to do a line of crushed valium while choke holding myself to get high enough to forget that one play.  Nate Washington, what a tool.  What a tool.

This is a big week for most fantasy leagues.  At least it is in the greatest league in the world, The Pickle Factory.  We cancel out Week 17 for a reason, so this is the final week of the regular season for us.  Lots of you are going to be in an epic struggle for a playoff spot(unless your name begins with an L, and you use Magnums on a regular basis.)  So this is the one time you will want to read this article and take it’s advice.  Because THIS is the most important week in fantasy football.  So to quote the immortal Trick Daddy featuring Lil Jon, ” Let’s Go.”

Hotties:

  • Jessica Alba in Sin City:  Watched this movie just last night.  Good Lord.  If you’ve watched this movie and weren’t instantly aroused when you first see her, than I don’t know what to tell you.  You have some serious, serious issues.  I just covered my keyboard in drool thinking about it…
  • Ray Rice:  It’s safe to say he disappointed everyone last week with only 5 points.  But looky here.  He’s playing Detroit.  At home.  I know I’m going out on a limb here, but he’s going to have a great week.
  • Rashard Mendenhall:  I’ve said it before and I’m only going to say it again.  Good God Cleveland sucks.  Why are they still a team?  Why?  Out of all the nonsensical things the league reviews nowadays, why can’t it be a team’s performance for the season?  I’m all up for the NFL fining teams as bad as the Lions and Browns for just sucking shit week in and week out.
  • Steven Jackson:  I feel like this is going to be like the second Jacksonville game.  Chris Johnson is going to run all over the Rams, and Steven Jackson is going to run all over the Titans.  It seems like the only thing our defense does best is bite on every single play action call.  We lead the league in starting old shitty veterans who have no business being on the football field anymore though.  We’ve got that going for us.
  • Aaron Rodgers:  Woah…. Green Bay is actually pretty damn good.  It looks like they finally worked out their pass protection woes, and their defense is one of the best in the league.  They are almost the complete opposite of Chicago.  Oh and Matt Forte can go to hell.
  • Philip Rivers:  He’s got the Chargers on lock.  I don’t think Dallas’ porous D will be too much of a problem for this stud.  Hot to trot.
  • Kurt Warner:  What is this world coming to????
  • Andre Johnson:  What does Seattle do well?  It kinda makes me laugh that Rogersworthe predicted them to win the NFC West.  You know I almost believed him.  I feel really bad for Aaron Curry.  The guy is a stud, yet he is stuck on such a terrible, terrible team.  Just find a way to get cut and come to the Titans.  Bulluck is getting old anyways.
  • Reggie Wayne:  Got shut down last week against Les Titans, (for those of you who don’t speak French, that’s The Titans.)  Doesn’t change the fact that Champ Bailey is overrated and that Wayne is still one of the top receivers in the league.
  • Santonio Holmes:  You’ve done me proud the past couple of weeks.  Continue to do so, and you will be amply rewarded with my praise.
good lord.....

good lord.....

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 10

November 11th, 2009 by Lando | No Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

It’s always been said that Week 10 is the most important when it comes to epic match ups.

And the same can be said for the greatest fantasy league in the world, The Pickle Factory.  This is the week that Rogersworthe and I face off against each other, in what is surely going to be a fight for the ages.  And in all probability his team is going to work mine.  I’ve been in a huge slump the last 4 weeks, going 1-3.  I couldn’t have a team filled with more underachieving running backs and wide receivers.  But I have faith this week.  Faith that my boys will rise to the challenge, and crush my fellow writer.

Starting this week I’m going to do something a little different.  I’m going to add a defensive hotties section to all my articles from here on out.  Not D/ST.  Individual defensive players.  And only a hotties section, because it’s nearly impossible to predict who is going to do poorly defensively.  But with that being said, let’s get this show on the road.

Offensive Hotties:

  • Chris Johnson:  My feelings can only be described for you in the classic song Endless Love.  He’s been on fire the past three games, hell almost the entire season.  And this week against Buffalo should be a cake walk.  Just know CJ I would be that fool, for you.
  • Adrian Peterson:  It’s almost not fair how Peterson gets to play the Lions twice.  As usual, the Lions just gave up after winning one game.  I think the Lions could stack 11 in the box and All Day would still beat his single game rushing record.  Hottie.
  • Ray Rice:  Best dual threat back in the league.  Hands down.  If he doesn’t have an insanely good game against the ever so bad Browns, I’ll quit fantasy for life.  Not really.  But for real.
  • Peyton Manning:  Might be a little obvious, but the Pats don’t have the greatest passing defense in the league.  And the Colts can’t run the ball to save their lives.  I mean, Peyton threw the ball 40 f@#$@%@# times in the first half!!!  Lando thinks he’ll have a big game.
  • Drew Brees:  Saints against the Rams.  Need I say more?
  • Tony Romo:  The Cowboys are one of the hottest teams in the league right now.  Somehow Romo remembered that he can play at a Pro Bowl level.  And just look at what Josh Freeman of all people did to the Pack last week.
  • Brandon Marshall:  Why is Washington still allowed to play week in and week out?
  • Vincent Jackson:  Just like the Chargers as a team, Jackson has quietly climbed to the top.  One of the best receivers in the league at this point.  The Eagles represent are one of the more two-faced teams in the league.  Either they put up 35 points and make you look like an idiot, or they just piss their pants and lose to Oakland.
  • Donald Driver:  I hate Greg Jennings.  With the heat of a thousand suns.
Ive found in you, my endless love.

I've found in you, my endless love.

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 8

October 28th, 2009 by Lando | 1 Comment | Filed in Fantasy Football

Ever have one of those weeks where nothing goes right? Especially in Fantasy?

That is exactly what happened to me in Week 7.  I was matched up against Spizz, projected to keep it close and maybe pull out a W.  My team had other plans.  Outside of Darren Sproles and Aaron Rodgers the rest of my team took a dump on my dreams of pummeling my fellow co-writers.  But some things just weren’t meant to be.  Like Matt Forte and Greg Jennings having productive years.  I was so high on the two of you at the start of the season.  Both of you are nearly identical.  Each have had one awesomely amazing week, where I got my hopes up for the season.  Now they are all dashed.  Aaron Rodgers puts up at least 20 points a week, and some how Jennings only gets 5 of those a week.  The Bears offense is much improved with the addition of Jay Cutler.  You’d think that Forte would thrive under a QB who’s able to keep defenses honest.  Instead he fucking fumbles TWICE on the 1 yard line.  Christ I need a drink.

Lots of sexy looking matchups this week.  And I know that there is one question on your mind.  Who does Lando think is hot this week?  And that’s why I am here.  To pull you out of that pit of despair that has you sitting at your computer, wondering which beefcake is going to be beautiful this week.  I’m like a drug.  A pudgy, homoerotic, Titans football loving drug that you just can’t give up.  So lets do this.

Hotties:

  • Steve Slaton:  The Bills run defense is the equivalent to the Titans secondary.  Non-existent.  Slaton has looked great catching the ball out of the back-field for Houston, plus going up against that run d makes him mighty fine looking to Lando.
  • Ronnie Brown:  What did he do a couple of weeks ago to that “great” Jets defense?  Oh yeah, bent them over whilst running the Wildcat to perfection.  Think he can do it again?  Lando does.
  • Marion Barber:  I think that the Dallas Cowboys are playing all wrong.  Two years ago they had a great passing game that was second only to the Patriots.  But that was two years ago.  The Cowboys have one of the deepest RB corps in the league.  They should use it.  And Seattle is as good a place as any to start.  Marion the Barbarian is going to go Medieval on that ass.
  • Aaron Rodgers:  Only player on the Packers team that can put up good numbers consistently.  And he torched the Vikings the last time they met.  Odds are that he’ll put up those same kind of numbers again, and look surprisingly hot doing it.
  • David Garrard:  The Titans have used up their bye week, so my strategy returns.  Start any QB playing against the Titans.  We don’t have anyone to stop him.  Oh feel free to kill me now.
  • Jay Cutler:  My bold prediction for the week.  Cleveland has been known to tear it up, especially on D.  But I’m confident that Cutler will be able to produce.  Even against this world beating defense.
  • Mike Sims-Walker:  Same as Garrard.  Strategy works for receivers too.  He looked like Jerry Rice fused with Optimus Prime against us earlier this year.  He’s gonna do it again. (Lando shoots self in groin.)
  • Miles Austin:  I was not a believer.  But 66 points in two weeks is as good a converter as anything.  Romo likes targeting certain guys, and it looks like Austin has fit the bill.  Don’t think he’ll continue his godlike numbers, but has potential to be solid.
  • The Entire Colts Receiving Corps:  This one is for you Air.
Not ready for him to floss the Titans faces again.

Not ready for him to floss the Titans faces again.

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 7

October 21st, 2009 by Lando | No Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

“Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez.”

This is Spanish for “What the Hell happened to the Titans??” (I don’t know how I knew that, I took four years of French in high school.) That was the WORST game of football I have ever seen.  I nearly became a soccer fan thanks to that game.  What can I say about my Titans?  We suck ass.  And at least we can’t lose during the bye week.

Moving onto everything that is Fantasy I had my worst week ever.  Matt Forte and Greg Jennings are making me look like an idiot.  Thanks to them I lost to the Raging Clam, who has one of the worst records in our league.  The Raging Clam??  This is the guy who drafted Dallas Clark in the 3rd round last year.  This is the guy who left The Other Steve Smith on the bench for half the year, whilst starting Anquan Boldin on his bye week.  And I lost to him.  (Pause for 30 seconds while Lando cries in the shower.)

Alright and we’re back.  Last week I predicted that the Patriots would torch the Titans and they did not disappoint.  Looked pretty sexy fine fantasy wise doing it too.  However I was way off about Donovan McNabb and Brian Westbrook.  Who would’ve thought that they would completely puke all over themselves against the Raiders.  But other than that my predictions were pretty on point.  As always.  And this week gets even better.   Lots of beautiful beefcakes going against some terrible teams, and lots of players looking ugly as sin.  Lets get it started!  (Song by the Black-eyed Crows.)

Hotties:

  • DeAngelo Williams:  First timer on the hotties list.  Congrats.  Even with the Panthers taking a Titansesque plummet from last years success, Williams is still a good back.  And the worst run defense in the league will bring out a little of last year in him.  And he’ll look damn good doing it.
  • Thomas Jones:  The Cougar of fantasy backs.  Had an amazing game last week, completely destroyed my fantasy team.  And Oakland is not a team of world beaters.  Expect this cougar to put up big numbers.
  • Ronnie Brown:  There’s something about the Wildcat.  I don’t know what it is.  It just sounds so dangerous, you know?  And no one runs it better than Ronnie.
  • Peyton Manning:  The guy is a rock god.
  • Drew Brees:  Man is it getting hot in here?  Brees looked brilliant against the best defense in the league.  He embarrassed the Giants.  And will probably do the same thing to Miami.
  • Brett Favre:  No one says it better than John Madden.
  • Andre Johnson:  Best receiver in the league.  The guy can do it all:  he has size, speed, great hands, and gets targeted more than any other receiver in the league.  Plus I would let my son go gay for this little peach.
  • The Entire Colts Receiving Corps:  Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark are must starts.  Garcon and Collie are good flex options.  This one’s for you Air.
  • The Other Steve Smith:  Him and the other Manning are going to return to hottie form this week.  They’ll put a good sandwich on the whole Cardinals D.
First thing Id ever say to him. Did you just come from working out, or are you always this veiny.

First thing I'd ever say to him. "Did you just come from working out, or are you always this veiny?

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 6

October 14th, 2009 by Lando | 2 Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

What a ridiculous week.  Two WRs go for 250 yards and two scores, Michael Turner has a monster game, and my beloved Tennessee Titans puked all over themselves on Sunday Night Football.  I’m going to have an aneurysm thanks to this season.  I’ve tried everything with them.  I’ve converted to many religions, prayed to many gods, and sacrificed my own weight in pigeons and still.  This does nothing.  We’re 0-5.   Good God we are so bad.

I’m going to do something different in this part of the post.  I’m going to apologize.  It takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong, and today I am that man.  I was WAY off in my Fuglies last week.  Way, way, way off.  So if you listened to me and sat Roddy White, Michael Turner, Clinton Portis, or Ronnie Brown then I apologize.  But since I am still a rock god at fantasy, my Hotties were pretty damn good as usual.  So in no way is one bad Fugly spotting going to affect me doing what I do best.  And that is bestowing upon you, worthy readers, my fantasy wisdom which is abundant.  I’m also going to take this time to give a shout out to Ahmad Bradshaw.  I was a doubter at the beginning of the year, (mainly because I have a friend who’s an obnoxious bandwagon Giants fan,) but now I believe.  You’re hot.  And you led my team to victory over Posse Guest and favorite The Meena this past week.  Keep looking good Ahmad, and remember Lando loves you.  Now on to the main event.

Hotties:

  • Brian Westbrook:  First time on the Hotties list.  Congrats man.  Matching up against Oakland, who let Ahmad Bradshaw run all over them, is sexy fine.  Plus their offense is one of the best in the league.  Looking good B-ry, looking good.
  • Rashard Mendenhall:  Proving that he deserves the starting job over Willie “I Suck Ass” Parker.  And looking at a Cleveland defense that should be serving me my McDonald’s, I think he’s in for a big week.  If he’s still available  because some sorry excuse for a fantasy owner cut him pick him up.  Now.
  • Maurice Jones-Drew:  Lando has much love for this particular Ewok.
  • Any QB facing the Titans:  This is a permanent stay on this list.  We seem to be handing out career games to EVERYONE.  Same goes for receivers.  We made David Garrard and Mike Sims-Walker look like Joe Montana and Jerry Rice.  Nuff said.
  • Aaron Rodgers:  Easily in the top tier of fantasy QBs.  Just imagine what kind of numbers he’d be putting up if he had an offensive line that could protect him.  And Detroit is better than last year, but they aren’t world beaters.  I’ve got a hard on the size of Florida for Aaron this week.
  • Donovan McNabb:  Same as B-Ry Westbrook.  Oakland sucks.  Big time.  And they won’t be any better until Al Davis decides give it up.  Which won’t happen anytime soon.
  • Randy Moss:  Something about dreds fills me with feelings that are confusing and weird.  Plus he’s facing the Titans secondary.  So I predict he passes his 22 TD mark from two years ago in this game alone.  Oh and fuck Wes Welker.
  • Roddy White:  He’s back.  And the best way to beat Chicago is through the air.  And same thing said about Randy Moss applies to you too.  All this talk about dreds is making me wet.
  • Chad Ochocinco:  His twitter cracks me up and he only makes this list if he wears his gold grill.

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Anyone catch the Brett Favre game last night?! Oh yeah, the Vikings played too.

October 6th, 2009 by The Meena | 9 Comments | Filed in Rest of the NFL

(Editors Note: The Meena has been our most recurring guest on PosseCasts here, and is a die hard Cleveland Browns fan, of which I have the utmost pity for. With that introduction, I give you his first guest post here at T-Rac’s Posse: his review of last night’s Favreapalooza. ~Rogersworthe)

If you’re like me and you have no real emotional connection these days to either the Minnesota Vikings or the Green Bay Packers then you are just plain old sick of Brett Favre.  Now, you’re probably thinking to yourself, “Good God, not another Brett Favre blog!  Holy hell kid, get a real job.”  Trust me, I understand.  Bashing or praising, anything even mentioning Favre is nauseating.

But seriously.  C’mon, given the chance to share your opinion, would any of you really pass up the chance to make a few Favre jokes?  Or really not mention the stark erection Jon Gruden sported for three hours?  By the way, anyone else catch that moment right after they showed the video clip of Gruden back when he was a receivers coach for Green Bay and he was having a sideline conversation with Favre?  I believe Gruden ended the segment by saying, “I’ll tell you what, I sure do miss him,” and then proceeded to gaze lovingly and erotically back towards the field, towards the love of his life that got away.  I guarantee that will provide Gruden with any mental images he needs to perform sexual relations on, well, whatever it is Jon Gruden has sex with.

Jon Gruden's Brett Favre "Oh!" Face? Yep.

[/caption]

But really, all of the Favre fandom is just so much overkill.  ESPN literally will probably make an ESPNFavre.com just because they think that since it’s a good idea, others will think so too, like Peter King.  I mean it really has gotten to the point of absurdity.

Gruden also dropped this gem sometime in the second half; “You gotta be impressed he moved the ball from the 1 to the 40.”  Really?  Really Jon?  Do I really have to be impressed that a quarterback moved the ball 40 damn yards?!?  Seriously?!?  Are you smoking crack?  But I guess you’re right Jon, more importantly than any pass he threw, was the fact that Favre was able to move the ball 40 freaking yards. (more…)

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 4

September 30th, 2009 by Lando | 12 Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

It’s another cold day in the sun.

The Titans loss to the Jets leaves a horrible taste in my mouth, and not even crushing the opposition in my fantasy league can wash it away.  Watching your favorite sports team of all time losing but winning in fantasy is like winning ten cents in the lottery.  Moment of silence for the Titans playoff hopes…

Alright back on track for the Hotties and Fuglies of Week 4.  Last week was a tad bit bumpy in the Hotties section thanks to Matt Forte.  What the heck is going on?  You’re lucky I’m a stud and have an insanely deep team or you’d definitely end up on “Lando’s Revenge List.”  But I was on fire with pointing out the Fuggliest of the Fugly last week.  With the exception of Carson Palmer everyone on that list did terribly.  Which just goes to show you that I’m the ONLY one who knows what he’s talking about.

Hotties:

  • Jay Cutler:  Despite his needing a tampon every half, he’s looking surprisingly good this week.  Lions got their first W in 19 games, but Chicago is a sight better on offense then the Redskins.  He’s hot, but in a bitchy way.
  • Eli Manning:   Very solid season so far.  Usually not a top quality QB option for fantasy, but he is having a darn good season.  Playing against the Chiefs is probably one of the easiest things you could ask of him as well.  I could play well against the Chiefs… in Madden.
  • Brett Favre:  John Madden and Peter King know what I’m talking about.
  • Matt Forte:  Dare I say it?  Last week I thought he would have a tremendous game against the terrible, terrible Seahawks.  And he played…. not great.  So this is your final week.  If you don’t get in the God forsaken end zone this week, the list.  That’s all I have to say about you.
  • Adrian “Killer Croc” Peterson:  I have a confession to make.  I’ve been copying and pasting his name for the past three weeks.  The guy is a hoss.  I would let my son come out of the closet for him.  Big game against Green Bay and Croc will step up to the challenge.  I haven’t seen those weird Nike commercials in awhile with him in there.  Guess they got cancelled because everyone was confused and slightly annoyed by them.
  • Cedric Benson:  I know.  I’m as surprised as you are.  If you had told me that the Bengals would be 2-1 and my beloved Titans would be 0-3 I would laugh and tell you to stop huffing all that glue.  Facts are facts though.  Bengals are not half bad and the Browns are.  Nuff said.
  • Greg Jennings:  What is Minnesota’s defense known for besides steroid use and lake house orgies?  Run D.  Not so much for their pass defense.  Jennings is one of the best deep threat receivers in the league in my personal opinion.  And my opinion is usually right.
  • Reggie Wayne:  Must be great to be the ONLY target besides Dallas Clark that Peyton Manning likes to throw to.  Those two are dangerous.  Akon and Michael Jackson agree with me too.
  • The Other Steve Smith:  Him and Eli look amazing.  At least for the week.  It’s a huge trend, everyone is hot against the Chiefs.

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Lando’s Hotties and Fuglies: Week 3

September 23rd, 2009 by Lando | No Comments | Filed in Fantasy Football

Week 2.  In French this literally means “worst week in football, fantasy included.”  Titans lose, and to rub salt in the wounds the guy I play has a terrible team and ALL of his players have amazing weeks.  Please shoot me in the groin.  No wait, just go and shoot Greg Jennings in the groin for playing the full game and getting ZERO catches for ZERO yards.  Thanks a lot big guy.  Way to cost me a game.

Well enough of my whining for one article.  The time has come to talk of bigger things.  Of the hot to trot studs of the week.  Oh and the ones that you would want to stay as far away from as possible.  Because most assuredly, if you love fantasy as much as I do, the fuglies will fill your week with misery and woe.  Thanks Greg.  Just going to give you another friendly shout out.

Hotties:

  • Adrian Peterson:  He just can’t get off this list.  Clearly the NFL wants Brett Favre to win another Super Bowl.  San Francisco at home.  Killer Croc could have an off week and still get 90 yards and a score.  Wish I had the first pick in a draft for once.  Just going to say it again for all of you who didn’t hear.  AP is smoking this week.
  • Matt Forte:  Has had a couple of rough weeks.  I think he is going to pull through.  Especially this week going against Seattle who let Frank Gore have his way with them.  Also don’t know if he can take anymore of Cutler’s crying.  Don’t think I’d be able to handle it.
  • Fred Jackson:  Oh Fred, Fred, Fred.  You are my rock.  My anchor.  If my fantasy team could have a face right now it would be you.  Also plays New Orleans, and the last time I looked they just ask for the ball back after every offensive possession and forfeit a TD to the other team.
  • Philip Rivers:  Miami is horrendous against the pass.  Peyton Manning just took them apart piece by piece.  I think Rivers is in for a big week.  Side note, I tried to add taunting as a stat you could get points in.  Turns out you can.  Which makes this guy even hotter.
  • Aaron Rodgers:  The only consistent player on the entire Green Bay team.  If the O-Line can’t protect him against St. Louis than I’ll stop writing these posts.  For a day or two.
  • Marques Colston:  Last week he showed us why New Orleans decided to pick him up in the seventh round.  This guy is hot, and Drew loves to give him the ball.  I would too.
  • Andre Johnson:  To quote the great Homer Simpson,”stupid, sexy Andre Johnson.”  This guy is the best wide out in the league.  And he’s going to put up oodles upon oodles of points this week.  Start him.
  • Whoever Peyton Manning throws to this week:  It’s either Reggie Wayne or Dallas Clark.  I would start either.  Both are OK looking enough to go on a few dates with, and they put out often enough to keep calling.
So glad he shaved that off

So glad he shaved that off

(more…)

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