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Breaking down why to not break down the playoffs

November 19th, 2009 by Spizz | Filed under Playoffs, Tennessee Titans.

000000;">We’re ten weeks into the season and playoff talk has officially begun. We’re starting to see some speculation as to whether or not the Titans could win out and steal a wild card spot. Michael Strahan says that a post-season appearance for us isn’t not a possibility, and he knows a thing or two about things on TV with an outside chance of success (zing!). But do the Titans really have a shot at the playoffs? Fuck if I know.

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Fox exec somewhere: Now take this, and at a parapalegic brother! Its gold!

Fox exec somewhere: "Now take this, and add a parapalegic brother! It's comedy gold!"

000000;">Let’s break this down. At this point, it’s reasonably safe (and by “reasonably safe” I mean “still wild speculation”) to assume that New England and Indianapolis will win the AFC East and South, respectively. Barring some sort of monumental implosion, which you can never rule out with a team God hates, Cincinnati will probably win the AFC North (they’ve already swept both of the real teams in their division their remaining games include Oakland, Cleveland, Detroit, and Kansas City). The AFC West is still a toss up between Denver and Whale’s Vagina, so that puts the wild card picture a little something like this:

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  • 000000;">Pittsburgh (6-3)
  • 000000;">Denver or San Diego (both 6-3)
  • 000000;">Baltimore (5-4)
  • 000000;">Houston (5-4)
  • 000000;">Jacksonville (5-4)
  • 000000;">Miami (4-5)
  • 000000;">NY Jets (4-5)
  • The Badass Motherfucking Tennessee Titans (3-6, but our three are, y’know, special)
Now, I don’t really think that Miami has a shot at the playoffs after losing Ronnie Brown, and I don’t really think that the Jets have a shot after discovering Mark “Interceptación” Sanchez’s true self, but I can’t really exclude any teams from this list with a better record than the Titans.
So what’s my point, aside from making you read my quasi-Peter-Kingish speculatory ramblings? It’s way too early to start speculating about the wild card spots. This league is insane. We would have made the playoffs in 2006 with an 9-7 record if that asshole Bill Bilichick had rested his starters after clinching his division. Anything can happen. For now, I’m glad to be winning (and by “glad”, I mean “the scientific equivalent of four Viagras”).

Now, I don’t really think that Miami has a shot at the playoffs after losing Ronnie Brown, and I don’t really think that the Jets have a shot after discovering Mark “Interceptación” Sanchez’s true self, but I can’t really exclude any teams from this list with a better record than the Titans.

So what’s my point, aside from making you read my quasi-Peter-Kingish speculatory ramblings? It’s way too early to start guessing the wild card spots. This league is insane. We would have made the playoffs in 2006 with an 9-7 record if that asshole Bill Bilichick had rested his starters after clinching his division. Anything can happen. For now, I’m glad to be winning (and by “glad”, I mean “the scientific equivalent of four Viagras”).

Bonus YouTube video: Proof that no one can predict the wild card.

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One Response to “Breaking down why to not break down the playoffs”

  1. [...] 100% agree with T-Rac’s Posse on this one: it’s way too early to be thinking playoffs.  I do wonder though, who in T-Rac’s Posse is the party supplies guy?  No need to [...]

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